What did Little Jimmie say to his mom when he got home frome school? Nothing his moms dead.

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Girl: I love you in a platonic way Guy: ... Is that some kind of fat joke!

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Wait, I am sleepy as the world which spawned you Nero, but which comment is mine again?

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Why did the girl fall out of the swing? She didnt have any arms

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Why do Squirrels accidentally plant millions of trees. Because they bury their nuts and forget where they are.

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A elderly man was driving down the freeway when he got a call from his wife. He answered the phone and his wife said "Be careful dear, I just heard on the news that someone is driving the wrong way on the freeway." The wife then heard a loud crash over the phone as the drunk driver going the wrong way slammed head first into her husbands car, killing them both intstantly.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I dont really care anymore BECAUSE I'M SICK AND TIRED OF THIS CLICHE!

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a dyslexic made a dessert. it was a bit dry.

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what is black and white and red all over? a group of people of mixed races playing paintball.

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An aspiring lawyer walks into a Bar. He will find out if he passed in a few months.

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A blind man walks into a bar. He backs up, takes two steps to the right, and walks around the bar rubbing his forehead.

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Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

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walk into your friend’s house and say “what’s up with the dead guy out front?” (you have to murder a person for this joke to work)

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The elephant moonwalked. On the moon.

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How can you tell if an elepant has been in your refrigerator? It has been destroyed.

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roses are red unless they are the pink ones oh yeah they're also pretty expensive

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A bar walks into a man... Wait, that's impossible.

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A little boy walks into a bar its fine, he's over 21, he just looks younger.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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What is a vampire's favorite desert? Assuming they are real I dont think they would enjoy it in the daylight, so really there's no point.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the barman says "why the long face?" The horse replies, "I am Sarah Jessica Parker."

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Whats worse than a dog biting you? Cancer.

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HNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNGH

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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