What happens when you get hit in the face? You get hurt.

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whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and the holocaust? A pile of dead babies isn't funny

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What do you call a guy with no arms or legs laying on your driveway? You call him by his name

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knock, knock who's there you yoohoo i don't like chocolate milk!

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If anything is possible try to staple water to a tree.

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There is a high speed pursuit when suddenly the suspect's car skids out of control and crashes into a field. Two cows witness the commotion, when one turns round to the other and says "Moo"

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Kid: "Tell me about when you were young, Grandpa." Grandpa: "Oh, sonny, those were crazy times. My friends and I were out of control. We used to give each other wet-willies and funny arm. We'd play dandy-balls and legs-a-spread and penis-butt." Kid: "Sounds kind of gay, Grandpa. " Grandpa: "It was gay. Everyone was. But, back then, we were called pole-fancies. It was real, good old-fashioned "grab the nearest tree and hold on for dear life" gay, not today's fancy, featherbed, thread-count gay. People got hurt back then! Kid "That's gay." Grandpa: "Yeah, it was pretty gay "

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Man: Doctor, everything I touch hurts. Doctor: Okay. Let's test it out by first touching your leg. Man: It hurts. Doctor: What about your arm? Man: It hurts as much. Doctor: What about your back? Man: It still hurts. Doctor: I see......your fingers are broken.

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Knock knock, who's there? Your mom! Oh I'm comming.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The bartender was incredibly biased towards religion and had the rabbi removed.

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I'm black and I will beat your children At checkers, they can have red

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Q. What do you get when you cross a bird with a human? A. Arrested.

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Stranger at door: *Knock knock* Oliver Twist: Who's there? Stranger at door: Not your parents.

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How do u know what a ass is. You no once you meet adam mac.

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What did the the White blood cell say to the bacteria? Nothing. Its a cell. It goes through phagocytosis.

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Knock Knock The doors already open

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If David has 40 chocolate bars and eats 35 what does David have now? Diabetes, David has diabetes.

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Peter charas threw a masterball at a level 20 Zubat!!!!!

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Whats brown and sticky? Brown paint,

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when life randomly gives u lemons, u should probably have a stand cuz people are gonna expect u to make lemonade

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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CHAD'S A FAG!!!

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Whats worse than the Holocaust. Nothing the Holocaust was the single worst thing to happen ever.

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Knock Knock Who's there A girl scout want to buy some cookies to raise money for my cardiac surgery?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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