What's the difference between Justin Beiber and gay people? Quite a bit, actually, because Justin Beiber is one person, and "gay people" is a community.

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how did hitler lure the jews onto trains to concentration camps? he told them he hid a penny in one of the cars

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The police. You're under arrest. The police you're under arrest who? Sir, if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves. We have a warrant for your arrest. Sir if you don't open up the door we're going to have to open it ourselves we have a warrant for your arrest who? Sir we are authorized to use deadly force. If you don't comply we will shoot to kill. Sir we are authorized to use deadly force if you don't comply we will shoot to kill wh-

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American: Nice cowboy hat Australian: hahahahahaha American: What's so funny? Australian: You're so incompetent... American: What does incompetent mean? Australian: http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/thumb/7/78/Trollface.svg/200px-Trollface.svg.png

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When life gives you lemons, you make grape juice and let the world wonder how you made it.

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What's worse than a baby nailed to a tree? Ten babies nailed to a tree. What's worse than ten babies nailed to a tree? One baby nailed to ten trees.

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A boy walks into his friend's house for a party. While he waits for his friends to return from the bar he realizes there are many people waiting in different lines for various kinds of drinks. After his friends return he decides he does not want any of the carbonated drinks they had ordered, instead he chooses to wait in the fruit punch line. There is no punch line.

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A teacher at a school in America is writing on a chalk board. He asks the class what 50 - 20 is. The teacher begins to become impatient when noone put their hands up. This is because the school is an educational facility for asylumn seekers from Rwanda and all of their hands were cut off by a Warlord.

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What's worse than a dead baby falling out of a tree? Two dead babies stapled together falling out of a tree.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To pick up the carcass of its road-killed younger brother and weep.

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Why do they call Jean a redneck? Because her neck was red from being in the sun for so long.

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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The anti joke that repeats itself :(

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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mat (telling anti joke): so you are stranded in a desert, right and kyle: no. Mat: no man i'm Kyle: no (kyle was later found dead)

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You know how I know you're gay? Because you came out to your close family and friends, who were all very respectful and accepting.

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Your mum's so fat, she attends regular weight loss facilities to lose weight.

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Once soon a time there was a boy named steven. He dropped his ice cream because... You know the rest

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Read in a Jersey accent: SOOOOOO my friend __________ saw this coffee shop in new jersey! He was like.... i love coffee why dont they give it to me for free???? The man at the coffee shop Killed me! that is why coffee is not free!

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What's green, yellow, and red? A traffic light

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What did the farmer say when he finally found his tractor? 'Where's my tractor?'

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Q: What do you call a man with no arms and no legs? A: A quadriplegic.

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How do you kill an elephant? -With a gun? No, an elephant gun. How do you kill a red elephant? -With an elephant gun? No, with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a blue elephant? -WIth a blue elephant gun? No, you choke it until it turns blue and kill it with a red elephant gun. How do you kill a purple elephant? Theres no such thing as a purple elephant, thus contradicting the reality of performing a major act of animal abuse on it.

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Where did Jonathon go after he died? - Burger King, he died from diabetes

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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