A guy went to McDonalds and asked for a cheeseburger: —Can I have a cheeseburguer? —No

Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are pink Daisys are white

Click here to end the world.

A man in a state penitentiary drops his soap. He then picks it up and continues his shower.

Whats black and white and read all over? A dead magpie.

An elephant stomped on a mouse. What did the mouse say? Nothing, the mouse was incapable of speech due to the elephants actions.

why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

A man walks to a bar and sees a very hot blonde sitting across the room. Turns out it was actually a blonde man and they both had a wonderful night because they were both homosexual.

What look likes a rocket, uses Mc Donalds wifi and takes off from Fairlawns Avenue Kevins House not instigating it was all Taggart

Why was the boy hanging from the ceiling? He was sad

A quadriplegic walked into a bar, and... oh, whoops, nevermind.

There's a Mexican and a black guy in a car... Who's driving? The Cop!!!

9/11

I cant believe they been together after all that shit. (person ask what) and you say your buttchheeeeks:]

What do you call a remote that does not work? a remote that does not work.

Why was Timmy sad? He had 15 large cuban men slapping him for 27 hours straight.

Whats the difference of a pile of dead babys and a lambrogini? One of them is not inside of my garage.

Why was the little boy cold? Cause he was traped In a fridge

What's more easier to break than a thin stick? A woman's neck.

I'm schizophrenic and so am I. I also happen suffer from multiple personality disorder. Schizophrenia refers to separation of mental functions, manifesting in anti-social behavior and delusions, and is unrelated to the separate disorder of dissociative identity disorder, popularly known as multiple personality disorder, characterized by at least two distinct and enduring identities and dissociated personality states. Both are crippling to normal behavior and function due to lack of public awareness and funding. Now get out of our ghost train or we'll cut you.

What do a mole and an eagle have in common? They both live underground apart from the eagle.

Q: Why couldn't Billy breathe? A: Because when the truck ran over him his lungs were crushed.

What did the dancing amphibious landing craft say to the carrot faced caterpillar? wanna get in its cold

What was that pirate movie rated? PG-13

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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