Whats worse than peeing blood? Dying.

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What did the guy say when he lost his tractor? Wheres my tractor?

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Why can't Helen Keller read? Because she's a woman

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roses are red, violets are blue, {insert name here} is f**ked up, (s)he want to have sex with you

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Two octopuses are swimming in the ocean. Suddenly a scuba diver spots one of the octopus. The octopus looks at the human and swims away.

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Why couldnt the girl braid her hair? She had cancer

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Taxes are like prostitutes. The higher your salary, the more you pay.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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whats worse than a paper cut? 2012

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Yo momma's so stupid... she scored poorly on on the SAT, failed to get into a good college, worked at a walmart and lived an otherwise mundane life.

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What do u call a boomerang that doesnt come back A stick

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What can I say, besides, the media is fighting one another now, people do have more freedom, religion is losing the grip on people, and yeah the world may be a bit grim right now, but people have chosen their own direction in life, and that is going wherever the most corrupt ones in society tell them to. And that was never different, I am not saying that you are not doing a good job, I am saying that the underground society failed, we where idealists, then we where branded criminals, without a shred of proof, I have not lost myself, and you have not lost you, why save the rest from what they enjoy?

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to get hit and die

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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How many mexicans does it take to change a lightbulb? Juan.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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What is worse than tripping over a stone, and falling face first into a dog shit, Not much..

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what happened to those kids sandusky raped? who cares

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Q: Why did Suzie fall out the swings? A: She had no arms. Knock Knock! Who's there? Not Suzie.....

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Is it a bird? Is it a plane? No it's Supe- oh wait it is a plane

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Remember that comic blooper? Captain America fighting some dude: Okay buster only one of us is getting out of here alive! Next panel: Captain is kicking his foe and yelling AND IT WONT BE MEEEEEEEE! ...

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Q: What do you call a black man that's flying a plane? A: A pilot.

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What has 2 legs and smells like fish A fish with 2 legs

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Why did Sally's ice cream melt? She was on fire.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops