- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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What did everyone call the ginger kid? Jimmy as that was his name...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Oh yeah... You're mute.

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Why did Muhammad pray to Jesus? Because he has low self esteem and didn't believe in himself.

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Why did the Japanese boy drop his sushi? He was hit by a tsunami

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A man walks into a psychiatrists office with a banana in his ear. The psychiatrist says, why do you have that banana in your ear. The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist says, "I said, 'Why do you have that banana in your ear?" The man says, "What?" The psychiatrist shouts, "I SAID, WHY DO YOU HAVE THAT BANANA IN YOUR EAR?" The man says, "Sorry, I can't hear you, I'm deaf." (props- Marty Smith)

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What do you call a dead baby in a lunchbox? It doesn't matter he won't hear you.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It was in a tub of KFC

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A mother is in the kitchen making dinner for her family when her daughter walks in. “Mother, where do babies come from?” The mother than explains to the daughter the logistics of sex. The daughter seems to comprehend and walk away leaving the mother to cook.

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Whats hard and long and used to penetrate women? A hypodermic needle.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Kevin. Kevin who? Kevin Smith. Oh yes, Kevin Smith that lovely boy from just around the corner! Come on in!

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What do you get when you combine lemons, sugar and water? Lemons, sugar, and water

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What's worse than the common cold? The Plague.

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What did the man do when the woman broke up with him? He changed his facebook status to single.

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sky's sty

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the awkward moment when you have a boner on your boner

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Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

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How does a black woman know she is pregnant? When she pulls her tampon out the cotton is already picked.

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i see trees are green, Roses are red, Violets are blue and i think to myself What a Wonderful World

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What happened when the woman sent back the pair of shoes she bought on eBay? She obtained a refund from the seller under eBay's return policy.

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did you hear the one about the elephant with a screwdriver? me neither...

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Q. How can you tell if a snake bites? A. It depends on if he walks to school or carries his lunch.

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Q: What did the pony say when it had a sore throat? A: "I have throat cancer and only have six weeks to live."

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A horse walks into a bar, it is then frightened and bucks a man in the chest. Animal control and an ambulance are promptly called. The horse is then taken to a stable, while the man is taken to the hospital where he later made a full recovery.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops