Q. How do you make time fly? A. It is highly impossible to make time fly for there is 24 hours in a day, 60 minutes in an hour, and 60 seconds in a minute so therefore the time flows how it should and we do not have such power to do it even though many people claim they do when they know they really don't

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A Chinese man and an american lived together. The Chinese man said to the american man, "I'm going to walk the dog." The American said "OK." Later that night they were eating dinner. The American said to the Chinese man, "I don't think that I've had this meat before. What is it?" The Chinese man replied, "The dog." The American, surprised, spewed out the food he was eating. "THE DOG!?" he yelled, shocked. The Chinese man replied, "Yes, I TOLD you I was going to wok the dog!"

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What's the difference between Rob Schnieder and Jelly Beans? Someone besides Adam Sandler likes Jelly Beans.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the first Ethiopian say to the other? He asked for some food only to realize that the other one had already starved to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does the deer cross the road? It had just birthed two deer, one of which was hungry, and food was on the other side, the other had been hit by 4x4 Hemi V8 Supercharged F1-50.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the child cross the road? Nobody knows, he forgot to look both ways got hit by a truck and suffered severe head trauma leading memorie loss.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man with pearl white teeth ? A man with good dental hygiene.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the man fall off his bike? He ran into a pile of dead babies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Justin Beiber's Talent.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did batman say to robin before they got in the car Get in the car

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Don't tell anyone, the Health Department is already on our backs.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Sometimes I question my sanity... Occasionally it replies.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why does Snoop Dog carry an umbrella? For rain.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Knock knock. Who's there- oh wait, I don't care. Get away from my house or I am going to call the police.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What did the fat man buy at Mcdonalds? A unicorn

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What do you call a black man eating dessert? A man of African ancestry enjoying a sweet treat.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

What happens when you put a baby in the microwave? I don't know, cause I was to busy jerking off.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Her father beat her

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A plane crashes in a polish cemetery the authorities have found 2000 bodies

thumb_up thumb_down +4

what did the african say when he got cancer? what? i don't know, he said it in african.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

Why isn't the dog a rebublican? Because it's a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +4

A cat walks into a bar. She belongs to the owner, so he gives her a saucer of milk.

thumb_up thumb_down +2

what did the chocolate bar say to the ice cream cone? nothing: chocolate bars can't talk

thumb_up thumb_down +2

So one time there was this woman learning...

thumb_up thumb_down +2

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops