Why is Skrillex so bad a fishing? He has Parkinson's Disease

A blonde enters a bar and orders an elevator.

What did the duck with one leg say to the pirate? Woof.

I see London, I see France. Wow! This high-speed train that travels across Europe is amazing!

A blind man walks into a bar. And a table. And a chair.

If you were on an island with one wish what would you wish for? To get off the island

Two muffins are baking in an oven. What does one say to the other? Nothing. They are both inanimate objects and can't speak.

Why is it stupid to call your son Bethany? It is commonly a girl's name.

Ginger woodpecker throbbing in the moonlight

What did Abe Lincoln say after a 3 day drunk? "I set WHO free?"

Q: Why don't people like me? A: Because I smell bad and I give off a creepy vibe

What did the dead man say? Nothing because dead human beings have no beating heart and do not live so they cannot speak.

Why didn't the Mexican dwarf eat his taco? Well, he actually started, but he had already had one earlier. So, he gave half to his friend who gladly accepted the free taco.

What's green and has wheels? The farmer's tractor.

How do you get Vladamir Putin to smile? You tickle him.

Why do Christian protest against gay marriage? They protest because they believe gay marriage is a sin.

What did the monkey say to the garbage collector? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAA

Why did the bunny give you a funny look? It has epilepsy.

What state is round on both ends and high in the middle? Ocoloradoo.

mary poppins' handbag is full of dick

A man walks into a bar. He bumps his head on the iron and has headaches for a week.

Two great white sharks are swimming in the ocean together, one turns to the other to speak, but doesn't because sharks can't talk.

A black man, a white man, and an Asian man walk into a bar. The black man says, "My wife died in a terrible book-keeping accident.". The white man says, "My wife died in a terrible lightbulb-sorting accident.". The Asian says, "My wife died in a terrible geography accident.". Soon after, the bar was hit by a missile, promptly killing the three men.

Why do black guys always have sex on their mind? Because they are men.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...