Q: How to make a man who suffers from hypochondria want to kill himself? A: You take a shet on his face.

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What was the weather like at the rap concert?there was a lil wayne.I DID A FUNNY! !!

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Is there anything better than pussy? Ya a really nice book

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A man walks into a bar. On impact, he suffers quite the blow to his head, resulting in him falling unconscious. He is escorted to the hospital, where he is pronounced in a coma on arrival. His family is left devastated. His wife, who was a stay-at-home mother to their 2 children doesn't take this news very well and is sent into a spiraling depression. 16 years later, the man finally wakes from his coma to find that his son and daughter that he had left behind where now grown teenagers and almost done with high school, his wife's has remarried and given birth to his half-child. This is why you don't text while walking down a sidewalk.

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What did Valerie get for her birthday? Nothing. Because no one loves her

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Yo' momma is so fat, that- Wait. Sorry. Too far?

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roses are brown violets are brown, who took a shit in my garden

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Why can't the Mexican float? He never learned the proper technique as he was not allowed to take swim class.

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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What happens when you shoot someone? They die.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because seven was a terrorist.

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What do you call a muslim flying a plane> .....a pilot

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Why was rebecca crying? Because her mum had just died in a house fire!!!

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Why couldn't the grandma remember what she did last night? Because she has Alzeihmers and grandmas don't do anything.

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What makes my fourth grade librarian hot? The fact that I set her on fire

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why does breanna love pie? BECAUSE ITS JIMMYS LAST NAME

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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If you were a booger, I'd pick you and then wash my hands directly after because boogers are gross

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Evidently, in order to get any person of an object (most notably a swing) you must hit them with some form of large and/or sharp object.

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Q: What's worse than losing your job? A: Seeing your entire family die in a car accident

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the redsox

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the slaughter house.

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I think my son might be gay. He's started to listen to Justin Bieber, and last week I walked in on him engaging in penetrative anal sex with one of his friends.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops