Why was Andy's resume declined? Because he was molested as a child.

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1.Why were the black men asked to leave the bar? Because it was a womens bar. 2.Why did the 40 year old get an erection? Because he was excited.

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-Knock, knock! -Who is it? -Me

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What happens when a man goes to college? He gets a degree and graduates most of the time or he fails miserably.

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A horse walks into a bar the bartender says to the horse y the long face the horse is unable to speak English, shits on the floor than leaves.

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How do you make a Chef cry? You kill his family.

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why is pie good. because it just is.

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What do you call five black me pushing a car? "Very nice young men who helped me when I broke down," according to my grandmother.

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two flowers in a meddow recently bloomed a cow came over and ate them, and the cow died of herpes the next day

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A blond, a brunette, and a redhead all walk into a bar. They order martinis and have a nice evening.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: To get to the other side.

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Why was the Pizza Delivery boy crying? He was sad.

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What did the man say when he saw a tornado coming his way? "Oh my god, that's a tornado. I better get out of its way so I don't get injured.

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We start counting at 1, therefore 0 is countless. I've slept with countless women.

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"Knock Knock" "Who's there?" "Interrupting Doctor" "Interrupting Doc-" "You have Cancer'

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This guy was walking down the street and a homeless guy asked him for money. The guy said "Why don't you get a job?" So the homeless guy began to cry because all he wanted was a dime not to be humiliated.

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A blonde, redhead, and a brunette are chatting outside a casino. The brunette directs a joke towards the blonde. "What's the difference between cotton candy and pork chops?" The blonde has heard the joke prior to this encounter and correctly completes it with sign language because she is deaf.

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A man runs into a bar, sits down in a hurry and demands a beer from the bartender. The bartender looks at him wearily, but shrugs, pours him a beer and sets it down in front of him. The fat naked man then drinks the beer and leaves.

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Did you hear about the dyslexic that choked on his own vimto?

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anti-joke.ru - russian style

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? Neither have they.

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How do you make a plumber cry You kill it's family

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "You know, you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate says, "I know, I was just raped by a group of men who thought it would be funny to humiliate me as much as possible. The bartender then called 911 seeing that a horrible crime had just been committed.

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how do you get lady gaga to wake up in the morning? Hit her with a brick

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops