Adolf the Red-Nosed Hitler

Don't wake me up. If you wake me up then I will give you a puppy. Just wait until you fall in love with the puppy, because then i will kill it in front of you.

What's the heaviest part of an elephant? Its body.

What do Japan and Haiti have in common? They are both islands.

What did the boy with no arms or legs get for Christmas? A scholarship to a prestigious college that he did not deserve.

Knock Knock whos there? brad are you thomas brad are you thomas who? for goodness are you a parot or something

A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

A blone walks into a bank in New York City and asks the bank teller for a $5000 loan because she's going to Mexico for 2 weeks. The bank teller said he would need some security for the money. The blonde tells him her new Rolls Royce is in the parking Lot and she hands him the keys. The blonde gets the money and goes on her trip. Another employee at the bank then parks the car in the underground parking garage. He later ffinds out the blonde is a multi millionaire. When the blonde arrives home from she pays back the $5000 and $15 interest. When the bank teller asks her why she gave them a $250000 car for security or needed the $5000 loan if she was a multi millionaire, the blonde answers, "Where else can you park your car in New York City and expect it to stillbe there when you return?"

What do you call a good anti-joke? something you feel like you should go to hell for laughing at.

Q: What do people usually find funny? A: A joke.

Periods are red, waffles are blue, some poems rhym, this one doesn't.

Face...tastes like chicken!

What did the Ethiopian get for Christmas? Nothing.

What did the plane say to the other plane? Boy, those towers fall!

Knock knock. *Silence Knock knock *silence Knock knock *Silence KNOCK KNOCK. *Silence (Busts open door) Oh right I murdered Billy a week ago

How do you burn Lebron James's house? With fire.

Urban ghettos

why was the white girl not wanting to have a baby with her boyfriend he was black

Why did the chicken cross the road? To rape the hen.

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I can't wait to shove my finge in you

Hey man, you the tall one! Yes? Do you understand me? No. But you do overstand me right? Yeah, I overstand most people.

What do u call something that's sticky and in a stick form? A glue stick :)

whats the king of the forest, is the color brown and is red all over? A deer or someone's soon to be dinner.

What do you call a cow with no legs A cow with no legs.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...