How do you tickle a tree? you dont you are a schizo stop kicking leaves

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What's worse than losing the remote? Dying of cancer.

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What do you call a black guy flying a plane? A Pilot.

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Hats better than a stick? A stone

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What do you call Ed Milliband after he's been decapitated? Dead Milliband.

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What is rainbow-colored, makes no sounds, and smells like a banana? A rainbow-colored banana

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What do friends and trees have in common? They will fall over if you hit them repeatedly with an axe.

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ewrg

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What did the man say when he lost his phone? Answer: I lost my phone!!

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If quizzes are quizzical, then what are tests? Worth more points.

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Q: what comes after 69? A: 70

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Whats wrong Nero? What happened? Please pick up the phone, I am trying to call you, but it just goes from dialing to changing tunes, please do not be upset with me, what did I do wrong? I thought we had an understanding, please just pick up the phone, if you already have my number and all you got nothing to lose...

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what does a deer and grass have in common? they are both green but i lied about the deer

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Why is motorboating so much fun? Because they are unmatched for their speed and agility in the water.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it was a chicken and was probably not aware that it was walking across a road at all, especially considering that it was likely in a low-traffic rural area.

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why girl die cancer

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Chuck Norris walks in to a bar then many people greet him because of his celebrity status.

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Knock knock. Who's there? 9/11 9/11 Who? YOU SAID YOU'D NEVER FORGET.

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Do gingers have souls ? No, Gingers are a myth made up in the 13th centuary to scare little kids.

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What's cool about a dead fish? Nothing.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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A chicken decides to cross a road. Unfortunately it gets ran over and does. The end.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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how many licks does it take to get to the center of lollipop? unknown.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops