A green-painted man walked into a bar and confused a blonde, bar-tending horse with a tale of rape in the holocaust involving an amputee child riding a fridge on a plane with a pig, a duck, a chicken, a lawyer and countless men of various ethnicities, religious faiths and sexual persuasions. Together, they changed a lightbulb, ate wormy apples and agreed upon the colour of roses and violets respectively.

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How many kids does it take to fix a light bulb 5 1 to fix the light bulb and the others to get in the van

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Friends are like trees, they fall down when you hit them multiple times with an axe.

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Two Guys Walk into a bar, you would think one of them would've seen it

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A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Did you hear about the guy that told bad jokes? No.

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monster under your bed? thank god im in your closet...........

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Why did the muffin not eat the other muffin. Because muffins do not have a digestive system.

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Whats worse then sneezing on someone? sneeze on someone and find out

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I know that a lot of people don't like morbid jokes, for it isn't everybody's cup of liquidized dead baby.

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Whats better than sex? Not dying. Ha

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What's awesome and looks like a pumpkin? An awesome pumpkin.

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the sky is green no it is not

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how may i help you

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How many women does it take to arrange my new Ethan Allen furniture? Just one, I was told it was divorce present. She took it with her.

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it was 3 am in the morning and i was stopped by 2 black men in an alley. we said hey to eachother and went along

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Whats yellow and cant swim? A bulldozer

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When the tsunami hit in 2004, christians worldwide prayed for the victims. it didnt help

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What's brown, smells like shit, and are annoying as hell? Taking shits

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Yo momma's so ugly. Most people do not enjoy looking at her

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roses are red voilets are red bushes are red trees are red HOLY SHIT MY GARDENS ON FIRE!!!!!!

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How did 6-year old dyslexic boy start his essay on soap? Sopa is shit...

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roses are red violets are blue some poems make sense banana monkey glue

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How do u get a baby to stop crawling in circles? Nail its other hand to the floor

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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