Skinny guy: Hey wanna hear a yo mama joke? Fat mother: Hey you wanna die?

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A man calls his 23 year old nephew on a Saturday night. He's calling him, in order to apologise for molesting him when he was younger. As he could no longer live with the guilt and shame. They both start to cry on the phone. The nephew hangs up " I can't do this.." The man receives an email from his boss, saying " Lisa told me she's still waiting for your analysis on the new federal cuts and how they're going to affect us. Please send them asap."

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Q: Why is eminem such a good rapper? A: well if you want to know its becuase he had a bad childhood experience and and needed some money so he put hard work and dedication into rapping.

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A man walks into a bar, he then proceeds to purchase his favorite alcoholic beverage.

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Meh, I dont want it anymore! You take it!

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled

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A white man, a black man, and an Arab man are standing in a room. Who stole your wallet? No one, you suffer from ALS and therefore do not carry a wallet because you have no way in which to use it. To top it all off your medical bills are so high that your family would be financially better if you were to die and your dream of being an entrepreneur is slipping away as you realize that pitching an idea is difficult in a monotonous drone.

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Q: Why didn't Jack go up the hill? A: He had prior engagements.

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What do you call a moving tree? A hurricane killing thousands of people and 3 dogs.

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Why is the boy home alone on Friday night? Because Hitler took he's parents away.

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What sound did the man make? Splatt. He fell off a building.

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Knock, knock. Who's There? The Fire Department...

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I walks over to da shop de oother day and there was this guy and he was like... I bought some petrol. LOoooooooooL

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Why'd the chicken cross the road? After losing its family, the chicken had became an adrenaline junkie and enjoyed the rush of doing such dangerous things. It subsequently became addicted to opium.

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What do you call a fish with no "i's"? A blind fish.

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What did the deaf blonde say to the brunette? Nothing.

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What's the worst part about rollerblading? Telling your dad that you're gay.

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How do you make a sausage roll? Wrap some sausage meat in a pastry dough made of plain flour, water, salt and fat, and bake it in an oven.

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People always say if you don't have anything nice to say, don't say Anthony at all. Mimes must be full of hate.

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Why did the skeleton cross the road? Because Apocalypse arrived and dead people now have the ability to walk.

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Q: what happens if a black guy says hi person? A: he says hi person

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Penis

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Did I say twenty times? I meant two hundred, you already know this I gather, but your subconcious understands mathmatics and multiplications at a whole different level because its potential is indefinite.

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a boy jumps through a mirror and out a window then he fell so now he's dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops