What's the similarities between a spoon and a duck. Both are not a lamp

thumb_up thumb_down +36

Why did the girl have twins she was raped

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why was little Mat petting his dog? Just kidding his dog died in a house fire... so did little Mat

thumb_up thumb_down +34

If you watch the titanic backwards, its really about a magical ship which saves peoples lives!

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did one banana say to the other banana? Answer: It didnt say anything because bananas are inanimate objects, so it isn't humanly possible for a banana to speak.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the penguin do in the desert? Die.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

Whats red, black and brown? My anus after a Friday night

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What did the drunk man say to his wife? "I love you, Honey"

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? The Holocaust

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What has two wheels and a handle bar? A bike.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

What do you call a baby in a blender? Child abuse.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

How do you knock a clown off a swing? Hit it with an axe multiple times.

thumb_up thumb_down +34

why did the chicken cross the road? I dunno ask the chicken

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Wanna hear something irrational? Pi

thumb_up thumb_down +32

What does the man do to his meat? He beats it.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did Sally fall off her bike? Because she had no legs. Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. What did Sally get for Christmas? Cancer. Knock, knock. Who's there? Not Sally...

thumb_up thumb_down +32

So three hikers decide to face the deadly challenge of climbing Mount Everest. They were unaware of the risks, and were all brutally killed in an avalanche.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

A man goes into a bar. What are mangos doing in a bar?

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Roses are Gray, Violets are Gray, I am a dog.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

"It smells like Up dog in here." "How do you know what the dog from the movie "Up" smells like? It's computer-animated and not real." "I...I think I have a brain tumor..."

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at him genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Why are Pine trees green? Because light reflects at different wavelengths, and the chlorophyll, found in chloroplasts, being abundant in the needles of pine trees, Reflect the correct wavelength for green.

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Q: how do u make a fireman cry? A: set his wife on fire

thumb_up thumb_down +32

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops