Why did the chicken cross the road? Because he was a retarded failure

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You walk into a plane full of Arabs talking about how much they hate America. You arrive at your destination enlightened about the problems in American society.

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50 gay man and a homophobe are in a nightclub in Florida ...you know how the rest goes.

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What do we want? Equal rights for people with Tourette's Syndrome. When do we want them? Fuck!

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What did the kid say to Santa? Nothing, he was a goat.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, There's gas in your shower, Because you're a Jew. Love, Hitler

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To mamma so fat..............nuff said

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What do you call a woman who has huge breasts? Sarah, for instance.

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What happened to the woman driver who drove to Tesco? Due to the pleasant traffic conditions, she arrived slightly earlier than expected and she finished her weekly shop in forty minutes. She returned home, once again in good traffic and ate a delicious lunch of sausages and chips.

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A blind man walks into a bar. The shopkeeper says, "the bar is nextdoor." The man walks out.

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Why didn't Anne Frank answer the door? Because it was the German SS.

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What did the rapist say before the little girl got in the van? Get in the van

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Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat?? The WheelChair

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What do you call a man who rides on unicorns? A liar. Unicorns don't exist.

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what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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An unarmed man robbed a bank today, he failed because he had no way of carrying the cash out.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue. Some poems rhyme, but this one doesn't.

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How do you kill a blonde? Shoot her.

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What do you call a black male teacher? A: A Teacher .

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It's a man's 100th birthday, and as one of his last wishes he wants to go skydiving. Unfortunately, due to his crippling arthritis, he was unable to pull the rip cord on his parachute and plummeted to his death.

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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poop nuff said

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why are jews so cash hungry? because like the rest of us they are looking for a way to survive and feed their family.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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