What's the difference between a sack of dead babies and my cousins? Nothing.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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What did you get for your birthday? I got older

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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Hey! What dhujv hushichk jgdwrggy man? Go home Sally, you're drunk

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Where can I apply for janitor school?

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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dry handjob

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This is a bad anti-joke. Just kidding, it's a good one.

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Q: Whats Long, Black and Smells? A: Sh*t

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Is that a banana in your pants or do you just have an abnormally large penis?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops