Why didn't the boy cross the road? Because there was traffic moving at high speed and he didn't want to be paralyzed from the waist down

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A bear just broke into my house and im scared…...... Oh wait thats just my 350 pound teacher… now i'm even scareder

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Guess what? Bananas

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What did the old lady call the black pilot who's name was Marcus? Marcus

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Its true, he didnt write that!!

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If you rewind Gozilla, it's about a giant lizard that helps rebuild a burnig city, and then goes back into the ocean again...

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Roses are stools, Violets are bums, sugar is knit, thank you, LSD.

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What's long, hard, and full of seamen... A Submarine

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1: Hey whats better than bacon? 2: What? 1: Nothing. Nothing is better than bacon.

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NASCAR

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Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? No. Neither has he.

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why wouldnt you come to the dark side? i spit in the cookies

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Why couldn't the girl talk... she chocked to death -Alan Davis

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Knock Knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? You are you.

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Roses are Verbotten Violets are Verbotten Anti-jokes is Verbotten Everything is Verbotten boats aren't Verbotten

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Actually it was me Josh brown

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What do you call a black pilot? A pilot you racist!

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How do you confuse a blonde? Try and teach her the finer points of Quantum Physics without allowing her to take any notes, and then test her on it.

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A.do i have alzheimer's? B.yes A.do i have alzheimer's?

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What's worse than being a Packer fan? Walking around with cheese on your hea... Oh, wait...

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How many Mexicans does it take to cross the border? Don't answer, just think and laugh.

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A man is hungry so he gets on his coat and shouts : "I AM GOING TO THE STORE!". His wife says not to because the police say the rapist 'Eggman' is out again. He says he will be very careful. On his way he hears 'They are the Eggmen, I am the Eggmen-" and the man shouts: "AND I AM THE WAlRUS, SO GET THE HECK OUTTA MY FACE OR I WILL KOO-KOO KOO-JOOB YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN!" The Eggman and the man found two more people from Liverpool and formed the band 'The Beatles'. The Eggman shot the Walrus in 1980 after the band broke up.

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Why did the semen cross the road? Because i put on the wrong socks this morning

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What do you call a kid with no arms and an eye patch? Names.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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