Why did the donkey say "Shit sorry I had no idea" Because the batteries shouted: "Nobody told me about your actions here, sorry for the terrible coding format, I am new"

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How did OJ get away with murder? No one really knows. Probably because he an excellent group of lawyers

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What's the difference between Elmo and Cookie Monster? One of them doesn't listen to Michelle Obama

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Why was six afraid of seven? Because six cheated on seven and slept with nine.

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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You have five dollars and Chuck Norris has five dollars. You both have the same amount of money.

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How long does it take to microwave a baby? I don't know, I was to busy masterbating. GBW

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why did your mom make food to feed the killweeds.

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What has a fiery tail and is mentally handicapped? Charetard.

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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Pacient: Doctor Doctor i think im becoming a vegetable... because of my heriditory bone marrow mutation

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Why do children go to school? Because they have to learn.

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why do ducks have webbed feet? to stomp out fires. why do elephants have flat feet? to stomp out the burining ducks.

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Why was the black man eating fried chicken? He was on death row and it was his last meal request..

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Why did the chicken commit suicide? To get to the other side

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Why did Polly fall off her roof? Because her dad pushed her.

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What did the man do when his truck was stolen? He contacted the police, who immediately began searching for the culprit. He then contacted his car insurance company and was soon compensated for the full value of his truck. One day the man was in his new truck listening to the local news and heard that the thief was found and convicted of Grand Theft Auto; his name was Martin Kaiser.

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What's better than your mom dying? Chocolate Cake.

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What do you calk a couple of friends hanging out? An intimate get-together.

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What did Pikachu say to Charmander? Nothing. Pokemon are fictional creatures, and thus, do not exist.

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Why did the first squirrel fall out of the tree? It was dead. Why did the second squirrel fall out of the tree? It was stapled to the first one. Why did the third squirrel fall out of the tree? Peer Pressure. Why did Bobby fall off his bike? He was hit by 4 squirrels.

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Today, I was thirsty so I got in my kitchen and took a bottle of juice out of my refrigirator, I realised the bottle was empty, so I immediatly took a walk to the store and bought another bottle.

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Someone loses their golfball in the trees. Their playing partner replies: "what is this? This berenstein bears?"

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A man goes up to an old friend and says: "Help me, I just found out that my friend is gay! What should I do!?" The other man replies: "If there is no problem, I cannot help you... Yet, there is one. Your homophobia. I suggest that you see a therapist immediately and I hope that you can get over the fact of the contemplation of a sexuality."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops