Jeff: Did you know, someone called you an owl? Billy: Who?

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What do you call a person in a morgue? Dead.

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How did the blonde die? She got swallowed whole by a 1,000-foot scorpion.

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What do you call a mix between a mexican and a octopus? Actually, at this moment in time it is physically and morrally impossible to do such a thing. Scientists have yet to find a way to split the genes and create a cross species. lol jk its called a moctapus.

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"knock knock" "whos there?" "pizza delivery!"

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Why did Jessy crawl to her bed? Because she has no legs.

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How many babies can you breast feed? 2

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Why did the chicken cross the road? it was wandering and had no idea wht it was doing because it has very little mental capacity whatsoever

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What's worst than dropping your watch into the gutter? Waking up with a penis on your head.

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What is black and white and red all over? A pile of dead, bleeding, mixed race babies.

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Why was Carlos fired? Because he stole and smelled of weed.

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Why did the chicken go cluck cluck oh baby yeah balloon your mama oops did kangaroo say? I had sex with your wife and stole your car keys.

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If a man shouts in a forest and there is no woman around to hear him, is he still wrong? He could be, he could not be. It really depends on what he says. The greater concern is that he's shouting alone in the forest. Either he's in trouble or he has a major psychology disorder.

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Whats the defination of cruelty

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what do you call a woman that didnt make you a sandwich? An ambulance

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What's the difference between a Jew and a pizza? One is a human being belonging to a particular religious minority and the other is a delicious Italian food favoured by English speaking western cultures. The problem with this anti-joke is that the facts are not correct, pizza was originally invented and China; however,it looked quite different then what might be considered pizza by our standards, when pizza was brought to Italy it was improved to make what we now consider pizza in modern times. While some people may consider pizza an Italian food, this would be failing to give credit to the Chinese who invented it.

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What did the blind pole vaulter say to the speed skater? Hi, how are you?

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What is the difference between a black man and a potato? Well, there are a great many differences. But the main one is probably that a potato is a potato, and a black man is a black man.

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She has no arms. Knock, knock Who's there? Not Susie

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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What do you call a giraffe without a neck? Dead.

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Invention I totally meant invention! XD, now okay, you can have the top comment, ill even read it because I like ya a lot.

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What starts with P and ends with O-R-N? Porn

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Yo mamma so black that u can't see her eyebrows

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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