A tree falls over on an old woman. Mysteriously, the woman lifts the tree up and walks away. A man is amazed by this, so he goes and asks the woman how she managed to lift the whole tree. She tells the man that he is an idiot an walks away. Later inspecting the tree, he realizes it is a small sapling weighing no less than 10 pounds

What is the easiest method of making multiple women fall head over heels? Have a wingman help you raise a rope at the start of a women's running race.

your mother is so fat that her doctor advised her to stick to a strict diet and exercise routine to help her lose weight

Why was the pedophile in jail? For indecent exposure to a child.

A Mayor accidently killed one of the citizens of his town through dangerous driving. He could not be charged with murder, as it was an accident, but there was an uproar, and he was humiliated beyond question and forced out of office straight away. Even his family rejected him, owing to the fact that the unfortunate citizen he struck was his son's girlfriend.

I was taking a major shiit in the bathroom stalls at the college and someone walked in on me, talk about awkward

Why did the angry kid press the button? The button said "press here angry kid"

What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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roses are red violets are blue wendy williams looks like a man roses are red violets are blue i coach penn state pull down your pants

Why did god create planet earth? He isn't real.

Yo momma's so fat that her weight is completely disproportional to the average weight of someone her age.

Why was the dog sweating? It was locked in a car on a hot day.

so if your riding down a big hill in your canoe and your bicycle falls out how many pancakes do you have left? you would have 200 pancakes left --sticksack

What's the difference between a pessimist and a magnet? One is made of flesh and can talk, think and do things. The other is made of metal and can only pull things towards itself or push them away. But strangely, the latter is a lot more welcome in most situations.

whats worse than breaking your arm? getting raped by a squirel

what did the jew get for christmas? nothing Jewish people don't celebrate christmas

roses are rose, violets are violet, now shut up you retarded poet!

What did the black guy say to the drug dealer? "You should probably stop dealing drugs to people because it is illegal and you could be sent to prison for doing so."

Roses are Red, They are also white, Infact nowadays with cross-pollination a hugely diverse number of different coloured roses are attainable.

A dyslexic pervert asks to see a woman's bar. Then he is chased to the bra next door.

What did the blue man say to the red lady? Do you want to make purple? -A.M.M

Why did the chicken cross the road. It's head was cut off and it didn't know where it was

What is cowboy say

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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