I'm on a seafood diet. It consists of prawns and tuna.

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If you give a mouse a cookie, he will probably eat it then have a heart attack due to the high level of sugar in the cookie

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What is black and likely to fail? A chain smokers lungs.

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A farmer hears a knock at the door on a rainy night. He opens the door and welcomes an attractive young man in. The farmer gets his budding teenage daughter to fetch the man a towel. He dries himself off, thanks them both, and goes to bed. He's gone before anyone else wakes up and leaves a fifty on the table.

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Karen was an average high-schooler. When she got home she often went online to chat with strangers. One day she started chatting with a nice girl named Jami. They really got along, Karen could tell Jami all of her secrets. One day, Karen decided to met her new friend at a local park without telling her parents. When she arrived she discovered the gruesome truth about Jami. Jami wasn't in high-school. She was a ten-foot tall, vicious, velociraptor.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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What is the meaning of life? Bill Gates: Windows Donald Trum: Money Some poor kid:luck and rich parents.

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Knock Knock Whos there? Your mom My mom died three years ago, please go away while i cry.

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it was christmas and the kid waited all night. finally santa came.....

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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a duck walked up to a lemon aid stand and he said to the man running the stand... quack

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Your mom is so ugly- Wait, hold on. How are you born?

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What's worst than your computer breaking? Your face

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Yo momma so ugly, except she's not. She's looking beautiful today.

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Q. How many puns does it take to make a cup of tea? A. None. A pun is a grammatical construct and as such is incapable of combining the ingredients necessary to generate a hot drink which has been popular for hundreds of years.

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Why is an elephant gray Because it's GRAY!!! duh

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Yo mama so stupid, she waited for the stop sign to say go

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A man walks into a boar. The tusked beast accepts his apology.

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What's black and red and on the ground? A dead black guy.

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why did the platypus fall out of a tree it couldnt even climb up the tree

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Q: What's circlular and has two hands? A: A skinny person, i was kidding about the circular part!

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A blind man walks into a bar No literally he does, he has a guide dog and everything, he's a capable member of society, don't be rude.

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q. a whale walks into a bar. The bartender asks"why are you wailling?" A. I my 3 year-old son died.

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Why did nobody answer when billy knocked on the door? Billy was a loaf of bread.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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