What did the dead baby say to horse? Nothing, it was dead

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didnt.

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what did the black guy say to the white guy? black guy: hello how are you doing white guy: good i guess.... just heard they shut down KFC black guy: that sucks

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how do goldfishes drown? you pull them backward water fills there lung and there die

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Q: What do you call a black person living in the United States? A: An African American.

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Penis

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How do you get Sally of the swing? Throw a clown at her.

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Your momma's so fat, that her doctor recommends that she exercises regularly and sticks to a healthier diet that includes foods with nutritional value.

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Did you hear about the monkey in the tree? Oh no wait. It was a lizard.

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Why didn't john go to school? He has terminal cancer and he must stay at hospital

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How do you call a cat for it's dinner? Come here cat!

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What is black and white, and red all over? I don't know that's why I was asking.

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You're tearing apart, Lisa!

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What did the Brontosaurus say to the Triceratops? Nothing. Neither of them have ever existed.

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Why do women wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they smell bad.

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Why did apple fall off the tree? Because Sally was holding on for dear life and she grab the apple. The apple was still in good condition; Sally however, not so good.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Ash Oh hey Ash, I was expecting you, come on in!!

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Why did my penis cross the road? To get to the other vagina.

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How many Jews can you fit in a one-person car? --One in the drivers seat, 30 million in the ashtray

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why didnt the little boy say goodbye to his mom because he got hit by a bus

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What did the American WWII soldier say to the Feudal-era samurai? Nothing, because the two lived on completely different continents and in completely different time periods.

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What's funnier than my jokes? your face.

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How do you kill a lawyer? Stab him 50 times in the chest, slit him open and take all of his organs out one by one. Burn what you have left. That should do the trick. OMG I AM EVIL

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This winter: "The seal is broken, as the spirits of hell go across the world, I can help you find them Clint! But only you can prevent them from killing your family!" "I will do whatever I must!" "Be careful, you can only see them with medication sample X, and destroy them with the super addictive Meladocs 5" "HOW DO I KILL THEM! I CANNOT HANDLE MORE MELADOCS 5! ITS ADDICTIVE AS HELL!" "Only you can save us Clint, only you can do this until their world malfunctions saving us all, but killing you in the process!" "I WILL... I CAN!... UGH... HOW MUCH LONGEEEEEEEEEEEEER!" THE PACKMAN: THE MOVIE.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops