a jewish man walks into a wall with an erection. what hits first? his erection

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2 drunk men walk out of a bar, they see a dog on the corner licking himself. One drunk says "man, I wish I could do that" The other drunk says "you might want to pet him first"

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What did the mute person tell the deaf person? Nothing. Even if sound could emit from his vocals the impaired of hearing person would still be unable to respond unless they have taken classes to read lips. The deaf person didn't take classes nor did the mute person learn sign language.

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Why did Timmy start a fire? Because Timmy was a derranged phycopath

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Why did the stoner visit anti-joke.com? Because he was bored, and probably kinda high.

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What do pebbles and Batman have in common. They're both pebbles. Except Batman.

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What do you call a man that paints on a his face and wears big shoes? Lady Gaga.

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What was Helen Keller's favorite activity? fingering herself...

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Two muffins are baking in an oven. One of them says, "Man, it sure is hot in here." and the other muffin replies, "Yep." They later die a horrid and painful death as their flesh gets burned into a nice golden brown crisp.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Finding half a worm in your apple.

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Why did the chicken cross the road---- because he's having financial and relationship related problems that make his life so hideously unbearable that he wants to kill himself and because he's a chicken and cannot overdose or hang himself he goes for the most viable option as to run across a busy street in hopes of getting smashed to oblivion by a car

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How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

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3 men are walking down a dirt path. One is a retired member of the US Air Force. The other of the Marines. The last one of the Navy. They are arguing about why their respective section of the military is the best. They lose track of where they're going and fall off of a cliff onto the spinning propeller of a US Coast Guard helicopter.

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Yo mama is so fat, Dora couldn't explore her. Yo mama is so dumb she brought a spoon to the Super bowl. Yo mama so hairy, Bigfoot took her picture and screamed he was gonna be a millionare.

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whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? getting stranded on an island with your best friend and realizing several days later that you will have to eat him to survive. hours after eating your friend a boat saves you and now have to live the rest of your life knowing you ate somebody.................... oh and the Holocaust

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what worse then stepping on a lego? watching your son kill your wife

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how do you make a cripple depressed? stairs..

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sally was hit by a bus and lost both arms knock knock who's there? not sally

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In particle-joke physics, the antijoke is the extension of the concept of the antiparticle to the joke, where the antijoke is composed of antiparticles in the same way that the normal joke is composed of particles. Furthermore, mixing jokes and antijokes can lead to the annihilation of both, in the same way that mixing antiparticles and particles does.The result of antijoke meeting jokes is an explosion.[1]

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A man quites his job to open a coffee shop which has been a dream of his for years, The shop does well with a healthy supply of customers and a steady income,The man is now financially stable.

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Science fact: what would happen if you lined up all the veins in your body? You would die.

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how many milkshakes does it take to bring all the boys to the yard?

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When I was little I used to love to dig up worms. Out of my ass.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are polemicists.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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