Little Jack Horner sat in a corner eating a Christmas pie. He died the next morning because it was Easter and the pie had remained unrefrigerated since the holidays. His parents were brought up on charges of neglegent homocide. Plus, they had a meth lab in the guest bathroom and ran a prostituion ring off of Craig's list. Jack's sister is now in the care of loving foster parents,who plan on adopting her and she misses her brother. Easter is a sad reminder of her former life, even though she is now a devout Christian and acknowledges the day as that of our Lord's ressurection. She plans on going to college to study nursing, someday.

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Captain Falcon is eating a restaurant. After he sits down at his table, a waiter comes by to take his drink order. Not wanting to skew his blood alcohol level for his next race, he asks for a non-alcoholic drink. The waiter says, "We only have water and punch. Which would you like?" Captain Falcon replies, "Water, please."

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Q Whats the difference between a pich fork with watermelons and a pitch for with dead babies stuck on. A The pitchfork with the dead babies were severly shot in the kidneys and then the heart. Blake

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A: Knock Knock B: Who's there? A: The Police. We have a warrant for your arrest.

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Whats black on top and white on bottom? R a p e.

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What were Benjamin Franklin's first words after he died? It's been 225 years and we still don't know yet.

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Two guys walk into a bar. This is really exciting as they haven't seen each other for two years and are looking forward to catching up.

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How many babies does it take to paint a wall? It depends on how hard you throw them.

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What does a vegetarian eat? colored penis

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Where did the girl go after the explosion? Everywhere

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What has potential but is in fact disappointing? This joke.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I have a headache OUCH!

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whats wooden and hard a wooden floor

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Your mother has cupcakes, she offers you one, how many does she have left? The same amount she had before, you are full. Moral: Cupcakes.

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What's worse than being arrested by a cop? Dying of AIDS.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got hit by a speeding moped.

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Why are New Yorkers hated on so much? Becuase the Yankees suck ass.

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How do you get a one-armed Polish man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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What do you call a black kid with no parents? A black orphan.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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How do you make a small child cry? You cut off his fingers..

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Your Face... It's Beautiful.

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Why did the person write an antijoke? To get to the other side

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A duck walks into a bar Its theoretical comical universe implodes from the destructive weight of inevitable punchlines and everyone in the bar dies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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