Chicken

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Q.Why was the fat man sweeting A. Because he just ran and his body is trying to maintain thermal equilibrium

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Justin Bieber walked into a strip club. Selena Gomez wasn't there.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Yo momma is so fat when she sat on the i pod she made the i pad!

thumb_up thumb_down -12

What do you call a black pilot? A pilot, you racist.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

whats funnier than anti jokes nothing

thumb_up thumb_down -12

what do you call a kid named kid. kid

thumb_up thumb_down -12

How come Asian's are so clever? Their baby food is blended textbook paste.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Two men walk into a bar. The third man ducks. The rest of the bar patrons are thoroughly confused.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

what did the guy say to the other guy? nothing because right before he was going to say something he was hit by a truck and got knocked out for 11 hours and right before he was going to wake a plane crashed into the hospital and everybody died except for two gay guys.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the millionaire jump off the Golden Gate Bridge? He said "I don't have to commit suicide, that's for poor people" (Wyndellberg)

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Justin Bieber

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the family at dinner not tip the waiter? He was mean and spat in their food.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Q: Where do you go when its cold? A: A corner because its 90 degrees.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why didn't the Mexican kid go to school? Because he was sick.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a black priest? Holy shit!!

thumb_up thumb_down -14

A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Yo mama's so ugly, she has difficulty attracting a partner.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

I couldn't decide whether to buy a pepperoni or a meat feast pizza? So i got neither and my two year old son died of starvation.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

What do you call a man with a knife in his back? An ambulance

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why does it take more than one squirrel to change a light bulb Why? Because they're so darn stupid

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Fine, the facts add up, excuse me if disinfecting what is left of my eyeball hurts like a bitch and reminds me of the fun I had losing about half of it and my eyelid left/right eyelid (I cannot tell left from right, I was born that way, on the bright side I can use both hands for everything). You know, I am sorry for taking such drastic measures, you know I could have spent the entire day with my wife and both my eyes, we where going on a trip around the world and stuff. Instead she is in police custody and I am stuck looking like a fucking pirate and my friend here does not quite get that its not the aching burning pain of living hell that gets to me, but rather the sensation of feeling pain at the core of my fucking eye whose sensation is so fucking overwhelming that I get just a little bit ticked off. Fucking hell am I glad we do not have a kid. I cannot pick up the phone, you see, its not my number, I paid off a couple of friends (do not really know them) To change their names to Nero. Now, if this is true and you have no idea who assaulted me, then you should have no problem knowing that I wont reveal where you live because we live pretty close to one another, you are not the only one that has proxies. If you do not mind you will have to chat with me here for a while, my eye hurts like a bitch and the fucked up sensation gives me just a tiny bit of anxiety, I will answer the phone, when my fucking hands stop trembling, I already dropped the fucking cell twice. Now it is busted and my friend is trying to put the chip into the other one yadayada, given the conditions I will call you,

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Waiter, there is a hydrogen conducting carbon nanotube in my soup. That is part of the special, sir.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops