I was sitting in traffic the other day. I was runover.

thumb_up thumb_down +13

Q: How do you stop a hobo from stealing your money A: You steal the hobo

thumb_up thumb_down +13

That awkward moment when Amish mingle has a member

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How many fingers am i holding up? 4

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Committing Suicide #YOLO

thumb_up thumb_down +11

THIS IS NOT SPARTA! *pulls him out of the hole*

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Have you seen Stevie Wonder's new house? Neither has he.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If life throws you fried chicken your probably black

thumb_up thumb_down +11

If there's something strange in your neighborhood, who you gonna call? The Police.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock Knock? Who's There? Sgt Constable Ian. Sgt Constable Ian Who? It's Sgt Constable Ian - I'm here to see you about your alleged rape charges.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

How do you kill a blonde? Throw a fridge at her

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the famer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor?!?!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Your dad is so old, he should go to a nursing home.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

hey i just met you and this is crazy... but loose my number and keep the baby LOL

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What do dogs call gaseous exchange? Woof!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Did you hear about the guy who lost his whole left side??? Yeah he's all right now!!!

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Corn Muffins

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the potato say to the man It said nothing it is a potato

thumb_up thumb_down +11

One day an Indian boy asked his father why they have such long names? The dad answered him in a such a simple and concise way, that the little boy understood.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Knock-Knock. Who's there? Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak. Cow that recognizes normal social cues and politely waits for its turn to speak who? Moo.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

On a scale of 1 to 10, 7 being the highest, what is you favorite color

thumb_up thumb_down +11

What did the dog do in the phone booth? Nothing, as dog do not have opposable thumbs and cannot grip objects. The previous user must have left the door open and the dog walked in, only to leave a few moments later.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Barack Obama, Joe Biden, and the Devil all walk into a bar. Biden and Obama order a couple of beers and begin quietly conversing, while their security detail stands next to them. "The Devil" is actually a heavily tattooed performance artist, who in 1999 legally changed his name from Jim Larson. He has just gotten off work at his day job (a paralegal at a medium-sized firm), and is relaxing with a Johnnie Walker at the bar. Although he notices the president and vice president nearby, he has seen many politicians during his time working in DC, and so hardly pays attention.

thumb_up thumb_down +11

OK, so there's this blonde driving down the road in her brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 Lamborghini. She's cruisin' about 95, radio blaring, having a great time. She comes up on this trucker who is carrying a double-wide home and is taking up both lanes. To her disliking, he is only going about 45. To get the point across that she wants to get past, she decides to tailgate him. So, she gets to within a foot of his rear bumper. The trucker looks back and sees her on his ass, and motions for her to get off of it, but to her it looks like a wave and she waves back. Since her first attempt was futile, she decided to get a little closer and begin flashing her headlights, hopefully making herself more visible in the process. Once again the trucker sees her on his ass, and this time motions for her to pull over to the side of the road. The trucker steps out of his vehicle with a chunk of chalk and draws a circle three feet in diameter in the middle of the road. He instructs her not to move until he tells her to. Naive as she was, she agrees to it and steps inside it. The trucker goes back to his truck and pulls out a 50-ounce Louisville Slugger. He walks over to the Lamborghini and beats it, and beats it, and beats it again. When he is done, all that is left is a brand new, candy-apple red, $125,000 pile of metal. Satisfied, he throws the bat in his truck and walks over to the blonde. When he gets there, to his astonishment, she is rolling around on the street laughing hysterically. He asks her, "Why are you laughing? I just beat the crap out of your car!!" She is laughing too hard to respond, but between giggles he can make out, "While you weren't looking I stepped out of the circle."

thumb_up thumb_down +11

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops