hi anti joke

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Man: Hey girl for a minute there I thought I had died and gone to heaven, but now I realize that I am very much alive, and that heaven has been brought to me. Girl: No actually you were right the first time we are both dead right now.

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What's worse than dropping your loli-pop? The Holocaust

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for christmas? A bike

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Woman rights.

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alex and clayton are having sex at school. at that point, their teacher walks in and tells clayton about the dangers of unprotected sex.

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whats brown and rhymes with snoop? Dr. Dre

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5 Jewish men walk into a bar and are expected to be treated nicely

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What is a hammer? It's not a screwdriver

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Why was Timmy sad? While helping his dad hang Christmas light, he got tangled up in them and fell down. While falling he grabbed a wire, which caused a spark. This spark lit the house on fire. Since he broke most of the bones in his body from falling he could not run away. The house proceeded to collapse an poor Timmy seriously injuring and hideously disfiguring him. By the time the ambulance got there, Timmy was the only survivor for his parents died of smoke inhalation. Since he had no other living relatives he was forced to live in an orphanage for the rest of his childhood. That is why Timmy is sad.

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What's the difference between difference and between? One is difference the other is between.

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why did the chicken cross the road cause i fucked your mom

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An Irish, an English, a Chinese and a French are together in a boat. And it shows the diversity of our society.

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why did the kid strike out in baseball he had leprosy and his arms were amputated

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(Something terribly disturbing that people find funny)

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Why can't you teach drivers ed and sex ed at the same time in Iraq? The camel would get tired.

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient ability. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Something other than a Human Being walks into a bar. The bartender then makes a rational decision about how to handle the situation.

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How do you get a dog to stop humping you? Pick him up and suck his dick.

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a black guy walks into a bar with a parrot on his shoulder. the bartender says thats cool where did you get it ....... the parrot says africa

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My name is Dave I like poems Microwave ummmmmmmmm (enter word that rhymes with poems)

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what's black and can't swim? a black refrigerator

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ACT 2 CHAPTER 4 GEARS OF WAR 3 TICKER EASTER EGG.... MICHAEL VICKS HOUSE

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If you want to make the little things count, teach midgets maths!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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