Does anyone know any good ways to piss off an Grammar Nazi?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What's black and white and red all over? A car in which some young hoodlum appears to have splashed a fair amount of red paint over the owner's otherwise charming checker pattern.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

So like i was like 3 and I was like stupid or something I was only three, come on! three

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Knock Knock Who's there? The Police The Police who? .The Police The Police who? ..The Police The Police who? ...The Police The Police who? ....The Police The Police who? .....The Police The Police who? ......The Police The Police who? .......The Police The Police who? ........The Police The Police who? .........The Police The Police who? ..........The Police The Police who? Forget this. *Gunshot*

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many jews can you fit in a car? It depends on how many seats there are, but some could double-buckle and stuff like that to fit more if necessary.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

I like my women like I like my coffee... In a cup.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Once upon a time a homeless man was walking down the street. He stopped suddenly and realized he didn't know how to read. So he walked to the library to find someone to teach him. A woman was sitting at one of the tables so the homeless man walked up to her and asked, "Can you teach me how to read?" The woman stared at the homeless man for a few moments. Then she replied to him saying, "Not until you take a bath." Realizing that he smelled awful and that his face was covered in dirt he nodded towards the woman and left to go find a shower house. The homeless man came upon a hotel and asked the receptionist, "Excuse me sir, may I take a shower here?" The receptionist gave the man a long hard look and said, "Not until you find a better set of clothes." The homeless man looked at himself and saw that his clothes were quite old and worn out so he left the hotel to find a clothing store. He finds a clothing store and asks an employee, "Sir, may I have a new shirt, pants, socks, shoes and a pair of underwear?" The employee quickly said in reply, "Not until you pay for them." The homeless man remembered that he indeed was poor and didn't have a penny to his name. So then he walks out of the store to go find a job and make some money. He happens across a storage facility moving many heavy boxes. He walks up to the supervisor and asks, "Pardon me sir, do you need any help with moving these boxes? If you can pay me a few dollars I will help you." The supervisor said to him, "Sure, start moving them to that unit in the corner there. So the homeless man worked until dusk, made $55 dollars, went back to the clothes store, bought new clothes, waked back to the hotel and took a shower, and finally walked over to the library where the woman was still sitting and learned how to read. He walked out of the library feeling accomplished and full of pride. Unfortunately he wasn't paying attention to where he was walking. He slipped on the curb into traffic and was hit by a car, dying on impact.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A horse walks into a bar. the bartender asks: "How's the family?" The Horse says: "they are fine." Everyone runs out screaming because Horses can't talk, except the bartender. He has a mental illness.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

A black guy walks into a shop, takes a shirt, and then he pays for it.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Where's the best place to gather black people to roleplay as prison victims for a documentary? Prison or the Graveyard.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

look this kid up on facebook and spam him!! its funny, Josh Noonan, also his cell number is 603 560 3399....

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Spilling Dr. Pepper on your carpet

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How do you get an elephant into a refrigerator? you open the door and guide him inside

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Roses are red. Violets are blue. I have PTSD. Time to kill myself.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

What do you get when a person and a cat try to have a child of some sort? Nothing because there chromosomes don't match, and there for physically impossible.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

what?

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why did the chicken cross the road? He was jewish and saw a nickel on the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -4

How many teachers would it take to find their way out of a maze? Depends on their area of speciality. If the teacher(s) are mathematicians or logicians, probably one or two at most. If they are home economics teachers, possibly more.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Why couldn't the blonde turn on the TV? The TV was broken.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Q: So I don't get it. Do women actually like not having penises and testicles? Do they genuinely enjoy it? A: Silly boy. Women ADORE not having penises and testicles. You just can't get your mind around someone having different preferences in anatomy than you.

thumb_up thumb_down -4

why was six afraid of seven? because seven had a huge ass mole

thumb_up thumb_down -4

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops