roses are red violets are blue i suck at poems i like your boobs

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1st person: What is the difference between a jew and a pizza? 2nd person: I don't know 1st person: A Jew is a follower of the zionist faith and a pizza is a popular food invented in Italy and comes with your choice of several delicious toppings. 2nd person: But not all Jews follow zionism 1st person: Well some places restrict your choice of toppings. Whats your point?

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How to make deep fried chicken. Step 1: Go to your local swimming pool. Step 2: Throw a dead chicken into the deep end. Step 3: Strike the chicken with lightning. Step 4: Remove your newly fried chicken. Enjoy!

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Q: What's the difference between Catholism and Judiasm? A: There are many substantial and vital distinctions between Judaism and Christianity. Of course, there are many similarities as well, primarily because Christianity emerged from Judaism. However, the emergence was not a direct line. Christianity broke from Judaism, forming a new religion, so it is misleading, however comfortable the thought might be, to believe that the two religions are essentially the same, or to see Christianity as the natural continuation of Judaism.

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why does everyone like this website? ... because every other joke a little baby is dying.

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For every person with a broken heart, there is another person out there with a stapler <3 And that person really needs to staple their math papers together so they can turn them in.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Rapist :(

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What did the fat guy say after his weight-reduction surgery? I'm gonna sue the clown pants out of McDonalds

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A white guy, a black guy, an Asian guy, and a Hispanic guy walks into a bar. The white guy orders a beer, the black guy orders a shot of vodka, the Asian guy orders a sake, and the Hispanic guy orders a shot of tequila. They were drinking and having a great time.

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What did the police officer say to the bank robber? You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have the right to speak to an attorney, and to have an attorney present during any questioning. If you cannot afford a lawyer, one will be provided for you at government expense.

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a cat a dog and a penis meet up. The cat said ur lucky, when you have to pee u can go wherever you want. the dog said your lucky you can go in a litter box. the penis said your lucky u dont have to put a ballon over your head and do pushups till you throw up!!!

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What did the cop say to the man arrested for speeding? You were going over the speed limit sir, I'm going to have to give you a ticket for that.

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Knock, Knock Come in

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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If life gives you lemons, you are probably suffering from hallucinations.

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Whats green has 4 legs and would kill someone if it fell out of a tree??? A pool table.....

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why did the car go to the bathroom? it had gas.

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What did the boy with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? i don't know, he hasn't unwrapped it yet

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why did the chicken cross the road? I dont know, you ask it.

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what do you get when you mix a shit zoo and a pitbull......"bull shit" oh this joke sucks well my life is over

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Why did the chicken cross the road? because it ran away and it's coop was on the other side of the road

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Why did the man go to Jupiter? Because he was on a classified space mission for N.A.S.A.

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The Awkward moment when the world doesn't end

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Reading another damn "worm in your apple" joke.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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