What is grosser than somebody eating their own booger? Someone else eating that persons booger

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What is blue and has blue shoes? A blue shoe box

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What's the difference between black and white people? One is black.

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A man walks into a bar, but it's really not his fault because his seeing eye dog led him right into it.

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what's the difference between a chicken and a grape? They're both purple........ except for the chicken

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How do you get a clown off of a swing? You throw an axe at its face.

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Why did the plane crash? The pilot was a tomato.

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What did the mother say to her son? I have Leukemia.

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i have a pet duck, when i take it a bath i use cold water, if i use hot water it and i drop a carrot in the tub it will think im cooking it.

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Yo Momma is so fat, she often chooses to take the elevator instead of the stairs.

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what do you call a masculine female? a post op transexual

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What is Blue, Pink, and Green, and sometimes sparkles when wet? Grass. I lied about the Blue and Pink to throw you off...because I can.

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Ben Corbishley

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John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now? Diabetes. John has diabetes.

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How many fish does it take to brush their teeth? Jp's worth of fish isn't enough.

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A pirate walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Hey, did you know you have a steering wheel down your pants?" The pirate replies, "Arrrgh, there's been a horrible nautical accident. Please call an ambulance immediately."

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What's wheels and has green? Lied, I grassed about the wheels.

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How many people does it take to screw a light bulb? One, it's all the sex they can get.

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could switching to Geico save you 15% or more on car insurence? Does a bear shit in the woods?

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What did one apple say to the other? Nothing, it is scientifically proven that apples can't talk.

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Peas

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Q: what did the white man say to the black man? A: hi

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why did sally fall off the swings she had no arms knock knock whos there not sally

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What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops