What did the homeless man get for Christmas? Frostbite

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Q: How many babies does it take to paint a house? A: That depends how hard you throw them... Q: Whats worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? A: 1 baby nailed to 10 trees...

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for chrismas ? cancer

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There were two friends, a girl and a boy. The girl had a ribbon tied to her neck, and every day the boy asked her why, yet she'd never tell him. They grew up together, and fell in love and still, she wouldn't tell him why she had the ribbon on her neck. They got married, and grew old, and still she wouldn't tell him. But one day, she said to him 'I'll show you why I keep this on my neck' and she took it off and her head fell off.

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Why was Sally in a wheelchair? Her abusive father beat her repeatedly with a rake.. Then as she crawled out the door to try and get help, the abusive father took his Dodge Ram and ran over her legs reapeatedly. Then began to slap her. Luckily, a vigilante saw the whole thing and slaughtered the father with an axe and carefully escorted Sally to the hospital. After a couple of weeks of beautiful and extraordinary care, Sally made a full recovery and was able to leave.. and all patients have to leave in a wheelchair

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DON'T READ THIS!!! you suck.

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Roses are red Viloets are unicorns this? doesn't make sense Refridgeator

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When A Shouty Man Goes Into His House. His Sister Nearly Kills Him So When A Shouty Man Goes Into A Library. The Books Try To Kill Him.

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What happened when the Mexican lays his head on a pillow? He falls asleep

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Knock Knock Who's there? Cindy Cindy who? Cindy your neighbor. I was wondering if I could borrow some milk, I ran out.

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Why did Sally fall off the swingset? She had no arms. Knock ,Knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did the little girl die so suddenly? The bullet got her right in the heart.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? Because chickens have legs to walk and they are not able to fly across the road, like the rest of their bird friends.

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Did you here about the man who dropped a glass? It broke.

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This is one LONG empty space isn't it?

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Your wife died during the delivery.

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What's green and has wheels? Weed. I lied about the wheels.

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My grandma told me to always keep my head up and just keep going. She fell down a manhole last week and died.

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17

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What did the apple say to the orange? Nothing because their both fruits.

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What do a dog and a fork have in common? They both have tails. Except for the fork.

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How do you kill a blonde? Put a scratch n sniff sticker at the bottom of a pool

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How do u keep annoying children off your front lawn? Molest Them.

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A man finds a lamp in the desert. He picks it up and dusts it off. The lamp becomes cleaner.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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