Q: How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart? You don't. You just shut up and listen.

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In the movie, Full Metal Jacket, my favorite part was when the entire platoon beat PVT. Pyle with hard soap while he was tied down. Actually I am lying. That part was extremely cruel.

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What's brown and sticky? A stick.

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When god hands you lemons .. you find a new god.

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What did god say when he saw the first black person? He will do alright for him self

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Getting raped..

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Im batman...suck it losers

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Roses are red but violets arent blue!!!!!

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01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01101001 01110011 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01110011 01100101 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100010 01101001 01110100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101001 01101110 01110100 01101111 00100000 01100001 00100000 01110111 01101111 01110010 01101101 00100000 01100001 01101110 01100100 00100000 01100110 01101001 01101110 01100100 01101001 01101110 01100111 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01100001 01101110 00100000 01100001 01110000 01110000 01101100 01100101 00111111 00100000 00001010 00001010 00001010 00001010 01001110 01101111 01110100 01101000 01101001 01101110 01100111 Translate

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Infamous last words: "Phew these Germans are finally gonna let us take a shower! Okay who farted! And do not lie because it smells like gas in here!" "Oh Crickey! That reptoil looks dangerous! Good thing I am immune to reptoils... Wait are Manta-Roys reptoils? uh oh..." "Hi OJ dear! Say hello to my brothe..." Moral: Hmm my chest hurts I wonder if... YAAAAaaaaaaaaaaRAGHGHGhGHGHG *dead* RESURRECTION! Phew...

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eh dylan quieres que te trolle de nuevo

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why did the boy drop the ball. he was shot in the head.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile

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why did the boy cry because i punched him so hard in the face he shit out his teeth for the next three weeks

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A frog hops into a bar. The bartender asks "What can I get you to drink?". The frog hops out and the bartender realizes he is talking to animals because he has anxiety issues and all of his friends leave him and he spends every night crying and waiting to be loved...so he shoots himself.

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Why was little Timmy so fast? Because he's tied up in the trunk of a speeding car.

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you know whats better than lemonade? sex

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a man walks into a bar and has a drink james

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Why couldn't the 11-year old get into the pirate movie? It was rated PG-13.

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How many people does it take to light a fag? I love BBW porn!!!!

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What was big and stiff A 30cm ruler

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After tesco's horse burgers, what's next? My lidl pony

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How do you wake up lady gaga? poke her face.

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A few lice were drinking wine on a scalp. It is quite strange that a person had wine on their scalp.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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