How many fingers am i holding up? none, my hand got blown off in Vietnam

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Whats long, hard, and makes a girl excited? A penis.

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Roses are gray Violets are gray I really wish That I wasn't color blind

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Why did the cat fall out of the tree? Cause the branch broke. Why did the baby fall out of the tree?Cause it was stapled to the cat.

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Roses are flowers.

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what is green and has wheels grass i lied about the wheels

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There are two types of people in the world: 1. people who can extrapolate from incomplete data And I have two wonderful pieces of advice: 1. Never tell anyone everything you know

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what do you get when you you put a knife in a head? a dead body

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Knock knock. Who's there? John. John who? John Smith.

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So a platypus walks into a bar. He orders a drink and then goes home drunk. His wife doesn't approve of his drinking, so she took her children then left. The lonely platypus wandered around for days on end in the lonely silence. He realized he wanted a job, but he couldn't get one, and i lied. it wasnt a platypus. it never even haooened i wasted your time.

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Why do woman cook dinner? Because their husband has 6 jobs and is trying to support his family so she does a part and cooks dinner.

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A muslim, a priest, and a raabi walk into a bar. All three of them agree that it hurt.

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what is the coolest thing in the world? hashtag swagbag yolo

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Real Joke: The US Air Force operates Seymour Johnson Air Force Base. It is named for a seaman. Go look it up.

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A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

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What did the Iraqi Suicide bomber bring on the airplane? His Kindle, he enjoys reading books

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How long does it take to build a wall? it depends on how big he wall is

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When life gives you gators, make Gatorade.

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What's similar about a black person and a white person? They're both black, apart from the white person

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What do an eagle and a off-white light bulb have in common? Nothing.

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Have you ever had Ethiopian food? No. Well, you should, if only for the cultural experience.

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Knock, knock -The door's open.

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what did the white man say to the mexican man when the mexican stepped in poop? you have poop on your toe

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why did i come to this site i was doing a school easy about the anti-apartheid movement

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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