What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table has legs.

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TOYS TOYS TOYS IN THE ATTIC

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a black guy walks into a black bar

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Hey, I just met you, And this is crazy, But I have a gun, So get in the van

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What happened to the black guy that rammed his ankle against the bed frame? Yelled profusely until it stopped hurting.

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Hey, is that your corvette? No, I thought is was yours.

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I saw a TV show last night. And it was good.

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Ron Paul for President!

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K

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Q: Why does a zebra have stripes? A: Because Sarah Jessica Parker is a horse.

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A man gets three wishes from a talking banana. His first wish is for a gay lover, his second wish is to have a naked grizzly bear, and his third is to become a professional tennis player. Soon after he got Aids from the Grizzly bear.

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My friend thought that an onion was the only food that could make you cry, so I threw a watermelon at his face.

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what is the tastiest veggie? veggies aren't tasty.

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So I was banging this French chick the other day and I couldn't understand what she was saying Turns out I raped her.

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The father begins by juggling some balls. The mother pulls out her harmonica and begins playing "Dixie". The children and dog try and get the dog to jump through a hoop. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "The Aristocrats!"

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A postal worker creeps past a sleeping bulldog. The dog does not wake up, and the mail is delivered successfully.

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In the middle of english class, Little Timmy raised his hand and asked "Can I use the restroom" The english teacher said " I don't know, CAN you?" Little Timmy said "When I was using "can" I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier asking for permission, as opposed to expressing an ability. I thought since you were a teacher you'd know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?

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What's the one good thing about being a paraplegic? Nothing.

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The world blows up and everyone except for one man and his house make it out alive "Knock knock" "Whos there?" "Me" "Me who?" "Ummmm, its me, duh" It turns out the man was very bored and decided to go knock on his own door and tell knock knock jokes

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Q: whats good about having sex with 18 year olds? A: there's 18 of them.

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What's ugly and has shit smeared over its teeth? Smelly McD (He also wears bin bag clothes)

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The average man ejaculates at 40mph, which is why its safer to hit a child at 30mph

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Q: How many Jews can fit in a car? A: 5 in a standard mid sized sedan, or 7 in an SUV

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what is the difference between a blond and a red head? one is has blond hair and one has red hair

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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