How do you stop a car from crashing into a wall? -You can't, you are welcome to try, but please don't.

What's black, white and sings the intro theme song for "Thomas the Tank Engine" while tap-dancing? There probably isn't anything that does that.

Q:What were Helen Keller's dying words? A: Speaking is difficult when you have no way of hearing others. Apart from that, just hours before you die, you become unaware of your surroundings, and have a harder time communicating. Both these problems merged together made it basically impossible for her to speak before death.

An Irishman walks out of a pub. Just kidding.

Two pretzels were walking down an alley way, one was assaulted. In a instinctive move, the other quickly ran away and alerted the authorities. The assaulted pretzel was severely injured but slowly recovered covered from physical trauma and has now sought professional help to deal with it's great deal of post traumatic stress.

Whats yello and cant swim A bus full of dead children in a lake

what did the Nazi say to the Jew? I hate you

The awkward moment when Delilah got hit by a bus.

I bought a pound of gold for my new gold ring, later that day I lost it

Man don't you hated when birds shit all over your car! Man I'm glad cows don't fly!

Whats the difference between a black bird and a white bird? Their colour

Why did the blonde get fired from the m&m factory because she kept throwing away the w's

What happened when the black man and the white woman mated? Nothing. The man was infertile.

Why did the Hindu eat the Mongolian? He tried, the Mongolian raped him.

A seal walks into a club.

Q: What did one Christmas ornament say to the other? A: I didn't know they could talk. Get me that ornament so I can chat with him!

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it wanted to.

3 Women were on a desert Island, This Island was situated in the middle of the Atlantic so there was no hope of survival.

Me: Hey mom Mom: Hey Son Me: Whats? for dinner? Mom: I dont know

Roses are red Violets are blue Im tired Cheese on toast

Fill in the blank: Hello my name is ___, and today I would like to ask you why you put your real name in the blank? Posted by: BerserkSpoon

Yo mama's so fat when they asked her if she wanted fries with that she said yes

Yo mama is so stupid that her IQ is relatively lower than the average.

What's the difference between a duck? An orange.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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