Why can't Amy winehouse drive? She's dead.

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How do you get your dog to stop peeing on the floor? SHOOT IT!!!

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How can you tell if an elephant has been in your fridge? Broken fridge.

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What did the man say to the cat? Nothing it had his tongue

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Yo mamma is so fat that she is likely to consume large amounts of food regularly.

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hey i just met you, and this is crazy, i have alzheimers, hey i just met you

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Why did the Chicken cross the road? 9/11

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what did one mute say to the other? Nothing.

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What did the farmer say when he couldn't find his tractor? Where's my tractor?

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What's small, black,and crispy? A baby after an apartment fire

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whats black, dirty, and full of trash? A trash can

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HOLY SHIT!!!!

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What do you call cheese that's not yours? Mine.

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why did the little girl scream?She was afraid of clowns and hated small cars running around a tent

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What did one tampon say to another? Nothing they were both stuck up.

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Why was the boy seeing stars? It was night time.

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Dakota Fanning

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium Sodium BATMAN! Oh cemetery jokes

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Woman:I give my Heart to You! Man:Thank You!!! The Woman then dies because one can't live without a heart

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A person from Singapore eats

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A Frenchman, an Irishman, and a Russian walk into a bar. The Frenchman orders a glass of wine, the Irishman orders a whisky, and the Russian, who prefers to be sober, orders a glass of water. They have an all-around pleasant night, yet they leave the bar upset. Why? A severe water contamination in the town resulted in the Russian man consuming a fatal dose of arsenic.

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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What is Arnold Schwarzenegger's favorite lollipop? Choppa Chups.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops