you know somebody is lying when it IS opposite day.

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How to kill a mocking bird? Stab it

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A woman tells her boyfriend that shes going shopping. Later that day the boyfriend sees her in an alley giving a blow job to a stranger so he says "What are you doing here?"

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what is the difference between lizzy and a momma hippo........ lizzy doesnt bathe.

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Whats worse than sourcraut? Casey Anthony.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Grass is red. OH SHIT THE GARDENS ON FIRE!

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What does it say on the back of Superman`s cape on the "new" movie? My other actor was an awesome dude, all I got now is this asshole... Moral: Christopher Reeve... takes lasers... shotguns, eats lava with his cornflakes... falls of a horse... dies... Moral2: HEY What is the booing for? This is the ANTI JOKE! SECTION... but now to my sincerest thoughts... Moral 3: R.I.P Christohper Reeve, he lived and died with hope... Dying happy while suffering from one of the worst things that can happen to a human being, is an inspiration to us all! True superman!

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A man walks into a bar said man is escorted out of said bar said man may have died from a serious case of alcohol poisoning whilst in said bar he was escorted as dead people have trouble moving of their own accord experts discovered later that the man had actually been brutaly beaten by another man wielding a bar stool this shows that experts are not very smart

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Why would a woman be out of the kitchen? Because she is busy working, being outside, resting, or any other activity that does not include food.

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Two turtles are in a bathtub. One turtle says to the other turtle "Hey, can you pass the soap". The other turtle says "what do you think I am, a toaster?"

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What did the Chinese man say to the Japanese man Nothing as they have never met

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a camel walks into a bar. it is kicked out because camels are not supposed to be in bars, there camels.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the gay guys house Knock Knock Who's there? The chicken

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What's worse than a baby in a dumpster? A baby in two dumpsters

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Knock Knock! Who's there? Santa isn't real.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She doesn't have arms. Knock, knock, Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To meet his friend the horse at a bar

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A French man, Irish man and Japanese man walk into a bar, seeing as the men speak different languages no conversation begins.

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What is brown and can't get an erection? Poo

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What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? Where's my tractor

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What's the difference between a black man and a couch? One is a human being and one is a piece of furniture.

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what did nena say in the library while her and her friends were on anti-jokes? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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EVERYONE, CREATE LOVE NOT WAR.. Between Josh and Dylan... WILD.. PASSIONATE.. LOVE!

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Friends are like trampolines, I always wanted a trampoline

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops