What's worse than a worm in your apple? A worm in your heart.

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If I could rearrange the alphabet, I'd put my cøck in your mouth. Submitted by Arsha K.

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What's the number 1 tip to burning stomach fat? Lighting yourself on fire.

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pee

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What kind of bee's make milk? Booobies!

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What did the Orange say to the Apple? Nothing. Both of them are lifeless objects, thus lacking the ability to speak.

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Even better if I am not here in an hour, lets make it two huh?, I was thinking about you, sleep is well, not something I prioritize well enough at all, probably why I am so adrenaline crazy.

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What did the golfer do when he hit a shot with a lot of pressure on him into the water? He dropped another ball and continued on, for golf is a civilized game and bad manners are prohibited.

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OMG SOHPIE IS SOOOOO GREAT AT BLOWING Josh Brown xoxo

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What did the penguin say to the tiger? I'm in the wrong country.

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what did your mom say when she did crack? i am so f***ed up its not even funny, i mean, i literally screwed the racoon in our back yard. i certainly remember a lot of drugs and alcohol. i am pretty sure i raped your friend, billy. I also went all lezbo on your girlfriend. i murdered your brother. he was telling me to stop, so i lit him on fire and made him eat cigarettes. the very abusive mother was then charged with murder, rape, possesion of illegal drugs, assault and several other charges involving that one crazy night. refrigerator.

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I like my women like I like my coffee, a brewed beverage prepared from the roasted seeds of an evergreen shrub of the genus Coffea.

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Person 1- Ask me if I am a tree Person 2- Ok, are you a tree? Person 1- Nope

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Man walks into an apple store. Shortly after he leaves with a fully charged phone.

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? The holocaust. Whats worse than the holocaust? Getting your balls chopped off by a maniac on LSD.

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What happened when the blind man was running toward a cliff. He stopped before he fell.

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What did the chicken say to the butcher? Moo.

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whats worse than bitting into ur apple and finding a worm? bitting into ur apple an finding out u have just murded noddy and his family who were making a nice little home in there

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Can yas all stfu SBBBBBBBBBSBSBSBSBSSBBSBSSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBSBBBBBB

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A frog walks into a bar and the bartender thinks he is very well evolved because frogs don't walk they hop

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What did the boy with asthma say to his friend I can't breath

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ADAM FANTUZZI SUCKS KIRANS BALL SACK

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who needs to get a different hairstyle to his boyo? josh roberts

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Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms or legs. A.Knock knock B. Who's there? A.Not Susie

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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