A man says to another man, "Why the long face?" He then replies, "I have an elongated face, hands, and feet due to acromegaly."

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What's the difference between a pizza and a jew? A pizza is an Italian food and a jew is a human that practices the Jewish faith

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What's worst than a holocaust 2 holocaust's

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Yo mama's so ugly, She cured cancer.

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What did the teacher do? He taught.

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It's not illegal, it's just frowned upon... like... masterbating on an airplane.

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Where does Charlie Sheen buy his clothes? Winners

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If a blonde and a brunette are both falling out of a building, which one will hit the ground first? The brunette, she jumped first.

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What did the teacher say to the kid who got a 0 on a multiple choice spelling test? Wow your really dumb. Idiot

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why did the little boy cross the road? because he had been raped.

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what do you call a jew hanging from a tree? dead

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What do you call a black person pimping out his bitches? a dog breeder.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Seven liked to eat numbers lower than itself.

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Why wasnt the black man entitled to a social welfare cheque? Because he made quite good money at a nearby hospital, where he worked as a doctor

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Q. what has one million arms and tells it to people A.a liar

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Like this if you have a big diick like me Dislike if you have a baby diick Ignore if you're a girl and get back in the kitchen

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What do you call a cat that growls? A cat

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Aye I heard somethin about yo mom WAT!!!!!!!!! She a bop

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I don't know either, i'm just wondering why a chicken is trying to cross the road!

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when push comes to shove, shove repeatedly explains to push that she needs to stop stealing his money and find a new place to live. Push then leaves, allowing shove to return back to his sofa and finish watching the basketball game.

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whats the difference between a guitar and a fish? A guitar is an instrument used to produce noise and a fish is a living orgnism native to lakes and oceans

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*knock knock* Who's there? ...Who's there?... *opens door to find a dead baby on the front door step*

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Why do British Folk have yellow teeth? Genetics. Although scientists don't know the exact cause, it has been shown that people of British ancestory have a genetic predisposition which inhibits the body's breakdown and utilization of Vitamin C and Calcium. This causes decalcification and scorbutic gums. The British slang term "Limey" comes from the fact that the British Royal Navy was made to drink lime juice to prevent scury. The Royal Navy was almost wiped out by an epidemic of Scurvy.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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