Ask me if I'm Abraham Lincoln. Are you Abraham Lincoln? No.

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Why did Susie fall off the swings? Because she was hit by a truck.

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Why is Andrew sleeping? Because he took and overdose on sleeping pills, he probably died in his sleep.

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How did the black man burn down the house. He threw a flaming match through the window.

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your mums so fat! "last time i heard that i fell of my dinosaur!!" Oh man are you ok?

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Why did the boy drown? Because he was actually a brick. I lied about him being a boy.

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What's a foot long and slippery, a slipper

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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Q)why couldn't the baby talk? A)the baby was dead.

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Why did the woman make the man a sandwich? Because the man severed his spinal cord and is no longer able to move any of his limbs.

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What do you call a New Zealander with 1000 lovers? A shepard

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What is big and white and will kill you if it falls from a tree? I don't know. I cant think f anything big and white that fall from trees that can kill you and besides if it is big enough to kill you then you will likely see it and avoid the section of that tree lest the big white object should fall and kill you because of this it is likely that anything that is big and white and falls from trees will in result kill you.

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My girlfriend reckons that a small penis shouldn't affect our sex life. She may be right, but I'd prefer it if she didn't have one.

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Why are AntiJokes so funny? Because your brain analyses them and makes you laugh.

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Why did the man trip over the kitten? He was blind.

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Knock Knock? Who's there? Doctor Doctor Who? It is a science fiction show about a time traveller

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Do you know what my Granddad said to me before he kicked the bucket? He said; how far do you think I could kick this bucket? Then he died.

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What's brown and rhymes with Snoop? Dr. Dre.

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Two Jews walk into a concentration camp. One goes to work and the other one gets gassed.

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awkies when jamie and jacob hook up, and u have to tell the dog..i maen danni that this has been going on for 2 months

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What was the racist kid's least favorite ice cream flavor? Chocolate for an unrelated reason.

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What do a banana and helicopter have in common? Neither is a police officer

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A man walks into a bar, politely orders one drink, sips it while having social conversations with his peers, pays his tab, and goes to take the bus home. I can respect that.

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how do you get a blonde to stop following you? file a restraining order.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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