Whats the hardest thing to have sex with? a goldfish.

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whats a long boring sotry that no oneever wantsto read? the life of sarah palin.

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How do you know if you are an alien? When you start maulesting sea creatures for their milk

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What do a van and a pencil have in common? You can write with both, except with the van.

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A: I accidentally shot my sister with a rifle! B: you don't have a sister? A: exactly

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a duck, a mexican, a camel, a jew, a duck, a moose, an asian, an ostrich, a turtle, an elephant, a scorpion, two vampires, a pokemon, your mom, Stephen Hawkings, a bird, a plane, mario, your family, and a plumber walk into a bar. They have cancer, AIDS, disabilties, diabetes, herpes, siezures, retardation, death in their families, drug addiction, no arms or legs, no home, no money, racial segregation, and have been raped. A combination of which is worse than the holocaust and three bee stings and a rope that fails.

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Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

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You know what's funny? Rape

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How do you get a baby to stop crying Cut its head off

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How do you get a baby into a bowl? Use a blender. How do you get the baby out of the bowl? Tortilla chips.

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Did you hear about the blind man who got stuck by a bus? Poor guy never saw it coming.

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How do you get babys to paint a house? depends on how hard you throw them

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how do you turn your dishwasher into a garbage disposal? make her take out the trash.

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Lol, first of all all I watched was something called Chobits many years ago, and while I know what hentai is, I cant say I watch that a lot or not really at all no... A peek but, its just too weird for me, they all look like cute kids with deformed bodies or something. What? You into Nerds now? Why cant I just wear my contacts and look somewhat less alien?

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Jokes about the Holocaust

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How many pollacks does it take to screw in a lightbuld? Likely the same number as is required when people of non-polish descent screw in lightbulds. Overall however it is variable based on the number or bulbs, position of bulbs in relation to ceiling, potential shakiness of required ladder, and desired efficiency. Please reference GE's lightbuld home instillation handbook for further information or alternately contact your local electrician or handy neighbor.

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A: Knock Knock (pause) B: Please use the doorbell, it is very late and I like to be considerate of my neighbors

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What would you call a two-foot Irishman named Max? Max.

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Knock knock" my mom says not to talk to strangers!"

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Q: Whats the worst thing to drop in a prison shower? A: An exploding nail gun

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Whats worse than burning your foot? Getting it eaten off by a cannibal.

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Why did the student get expelled from a Christian school? He continually beat other students between class periods.

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why was the stone green? I dont know thats why im asking -_-

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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