What do you get when you cross a cheetah and a zebra? A dead zebra.

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What did the lawyer say to a lawyer? We're both lawyers.

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What did the dyslexic say to the nun? When I write, I typically misplace letters in words.

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men, men like men= men+bed

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Why are Jewish men circumcised? Because it is the norm with that particular religious group to circumcise male infants shortly after birth.

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Why did the man run away from the cat? He was allergic

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Why did the girl get robbed? Because her door was unlocked.

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What is the difference between me and you? I am not readin this joke.

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Do you like fishsticks No

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A Jew, a Muslim, and a black guy board a plane. Who gets kicked off first? The jew for his unruly behavior towards the flight attendant.

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Why are people so quiet at golf game? Because its such a boring sport.

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don't make holocaust jokes, my grandfather died in the holocaust, he fell out of the birds nest shooting Jews.

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So a ninja walks into a bar and he sees a cowboy and the ninja says i will kill you with my mad ninja skills and the cowboy says who needs mad ninja skills when you got a gun

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A turtle and a rabbit are having a race. The rabbit goes really fast and sees the turtle so far away. So the rabbit takes a short nap and waits for the turtle for a little challenge. Suddenly the rabbit wakes up and sees the turtle about to cross the finish line. The rabbit runs as fast as he can, but it was too late. A bus runs them over and they both die.

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I once duped this chick with a parrot. Crazy thing wouldn't shut up. The parrot was pretty cool

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I have never liked jokes. They promote laughter, which is the music of Satan strangling hairy children and wildebeast. I'd like to thank anti-joke.com for their work in the struggle against hilarity.

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Q: What did the kid with no arms and legs get for christmas? A: Cancer

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Why did Sara fall off the swing? Because she had no arms... Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sara.

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Why didn't the blond cry at her child's funeral? She died, too. It was a terrible accident.

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Smell your breath Coamhin you smelly cunt

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Liar liar, your dead nans carcass is on fire.

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A squirrel and an owl are sitting in a tree. The squirrel turns to the owl and says nothing, because it is a squirrel and squirrels can't talk. The owl turns to the squirrel and eats it, because it is a bird of prey.

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Knock Knock. Who's There? Look through your peephole, you lazy bastard.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? I can't really remember the reason, it was about 5 years ago and a lot of things have happened since.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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