what did the cat say to the monkey meow then he got hit by a car

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tomatoe tomato my toe is named tom

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Do you know what is worse than getting kicked downstairs? Getting kicked upstairs because then you could fall downstairs and break your skull.

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Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Orange Orange who? Knock-knock Who's there? Banana Banana who? Banana you glad I didn't say banana?

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Okay, but cut me some slack here, its not as straight forward as it sounds, I got at least twice as many active synapses as other people do, that means twice the thought process, in video games I can for example remember twice the commands, and such. Sadly this does not mean that I can think twice as fast or twice as smart, but rather that I do so involuntarily in short spans, until I burn myself out. So be a bit nice to me, when I say that I have since I was a kid used about 2.5-7.5 mg valium, this is just because my thought process works so fast I burn out because well, I got the processor, but it burns out, excuse me my wife needs some help with her cellphone, see you soon

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How do you stop a black man from drowning? Take your fott off his head.

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What do you call 10 Asians playing basketball? A group of friends hanging out and having a good time.

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How are jello and frankenstein alike? Both green, both alive, and bill cosby didn't make me want either.

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A horse walks into a bar, and the bartender asks: "why the long face?" The horse replies: "my wife has terminal cancer."

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"Hey want to hear the best knock-knock joke ever." "Sure." "Ok you start." "Knock-knock." "Whos there?" "..........."

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What did the doctor say to his patient? You have AIDS.

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Why did little Suzie spill her drink? Since birth, she has lacked a jaw.

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How did the Mexican get into the United States? He showed his passport, and the correct documents & information, and was admitted into the country as a new American citizen.

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What worse that punching a baby? Stabing one.

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Q: How do you confuse more than 80% of the population? A: Mushrooms.

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If a blonde and a brunette fell off a cliff who would reach the ground first? The blonde because she was fatter.

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why did the slytherin cross the road twice? ... because they are double-crossers.

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A bear walks into a bar and kills every one

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yo mamma so fat that when she goes out in high heels she comes back in flip flops

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Elephants can jump higher than the tallest building. You know why? It's because buildings can't jump.

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What's black, white, and red all over? A pile of dead nuns.

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Try typing in any three letters in Google images and you will always see something inappropriate. Posted by: BerserkSpoon

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Why do girls wear makeup and perfume? Because they are ugly and they stink.

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Why was the young Jewish boy afraid at camp? Because his scoutmaster is a pedophile.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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