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A gorilla walks into a bar and orders a banana martini. The bartender thinks this is quite strange, but then realizes he is dreaming. He awakes and tells his wife about it. His wife tells him to go to sleep. The bartender is now sad because he realizes his marriage is in shambles

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What do you call a man named Mark? Mark

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A panda walks into a bar. He eats but then is tranquilized and taken back to the zoo.

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What's the difference between a Jew and a Boy Scout? Boy Scouts come back from camp

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Roses are red Violets are blue I am adopted And so are you

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Your mother is so fat that when she went to get weighed she was diagnosed as clinically obese and later broke down into tears.

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Why did the swing fall off the girl? I have dyslexia

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There once was an old lady who lived in a shoe. She had so many children, her vagina fell off.

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Whats red and crawls up your leg? A homesick abortion.

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A man walks into a bar............. The bar explodes and everyone dies

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Knock Knock. Knock Knock Who? Knock Knock (:

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why did jimmy's mom fall off the cliff? i dont know.

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Women. Can't live with them. Can't systemically murder them without compromising the reproductive integrity of the species.

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How do you feed 1000 people? Cook 1000 meals .

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So a guy walks into a bar.... he gets a few drinks pays his bill and goes home

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Three men walked into a bar. Despite the fact that the bar was not an oblong piece of solid material as many would assume, the men entered through the tavern door simultaneously and found it most uncomfortable and awkward to be squished up against each other for several moments.

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Why are you bored? because fungus grows in your eyeballs so you try to stab it out but you end up blind and dead lol

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Whats invisable and smells like a apple? An invisable apple

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Ubisoft 'Very Impressed' By Pokemon Go, Working on AR game of their own.

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What did Santa call the prostitute? Nothing. Santa isn't real.

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what do you do when you forget to do your math homework? kill your teacher

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A man brings his entire family in to meet a show producer. The producer says, "Okay, let's see what you got." The man then proceeds to lead his family through a variety of acts, including showcasing the proper way to drink English tea and how to dress for a polo match. When they finish, the producer asks, "And just what do you call your act?" To which the man replies, "The Aristocrats!"

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My mum is called Steve

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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