Why did Sarah fall off the swing? Because she didn't have any arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sarah!

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What did the man say to his wife before she made him a sandwhich? Do your job and make me a sandwhich.

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Yo mama is so fat she lost 100 pounds and now she's not fat.

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Whoever said "don't start what you can't finish" hopefully didn't think about having kids Cuz that would be horror Get it?

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why did the woman commit suicide? because 2+2=4

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What does a dinosaur and TImmy's mom have in common? They're both dead

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Bee1:Boo Bee2:Boo Look i found 2 boobies:)

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So a guy comes into a bar... And he is cited for public indecency.

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Q. What do you call a white guy with a black dick? A. Gay

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Where do farmers retire their used farm equipment? The tree in their backyard.

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Whats the difference between a woman and a fridge? A fridge doesn't fart when you take your meat out!

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What did the homeless man say to his family? Nothing. His family left him after he lost his job.

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How do you get a baby out of the blender? Pour it

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roses are dead violets are gross guess what i'm in your closet

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Girl goes to see a sex therapist. Girl says, "Doc, though this has never been a problem, for the past 3 months I have been unable to reach climax. Can you help me?" Doc says, "Yes.". And after an intense 18 months of therapy the doctor helped the girl to discover that her inability to reach climax was related to issues of childhood sexual abuse. And after another 36 months of therapy the girl finally found the courage to confront and forgive her unrepentant abuser, as she realized that by not forgiving him, it was like drinking poison while hoping that he would die. And though the doctor did help her,as he had said, the girl never regained her ability to reach climax again.

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Where is the center of the universe? There is no center of the universe! According to the standard theories of cosmology, the universe started with a "Big Bang" about 14 thousand million years ago and has been expanding ever since. Yet there is no center to the expansion; it is the same everywhere. The Big Bang should not be visualised as an ordinary explosion. The universe is not expanding out from a center into space; rather, the whole universe is expanding and it is doing so equally at all places, as far as we can tell. In 1929 Edwin Hubble announced that he had measured the speed of galaxies at different distances from us, and had discovered that the farther they were, the faster they were receding. This might suggest that we are at the center of the expanding universe, but in fact if the universe is expanding uniformly according to Hubble's law, then it will appear to do so from any vantage point. If we see a galaxy B receding from us at 10,000 km/s, an alien in galaxy B will see our galaxy A receding from it at 10,000 km/s in the opposite direction. Another galaxy C twice as far away in the same direction as B will be seen by us as receding at 20,000 km/s. The alien will see it receding at 10,000 km/s:

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A man walks into a bar. The barman says, 'why the lo-, wait, i thought you was that horse again.'

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Q:What is harder than nailing ten dead babies to a tree? A:Nailing one dead baby to ten trees.

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What do Black people call their fathers? Dad.

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Oh no! I forgot the milk!

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Women can vote? wtf

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How did the idiot die? He comitted suicide because people were picking on his stupidity. (If you laughed at this you are a horrible person)

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Albert, there is a dead, FLY in your hair.

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What happen? Idk...

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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