No Nero, you see, a great man once told me that happiness is not something you look for and eventually find, but something that you decide that you already are.

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save me from the nothing ive become

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You can go out to eat without posting it on Facebook.

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your mother is so fat that she got brain damaged from cardiac arrest and now needs medical care for the rest of her life.

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Why did Helen Kellers dog run away? It didn't. She did not own a dog.

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What is black, white, and red all over? A penguin in a blender!

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How do you make your grandma fly? Push her off the back of a plane.

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Did you hear about the Polish submarine? It was one of five in the Polish Navy.

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What is the crunchiest part of a Vegetable? It depends if by Vegetable you mean the food or the disabled human incapable of carrying out simple, daily tasks, in which case this joke would be referring to canibalism.

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How many black men can you fit into a mini? Five One in the drivers seat. One in the passenger seat. And three in the back seats. Anymore would be both dangerous and impractical due to the small interior volume of the car, and it would also put a significant strain on the cars limited engine power. Especially when tackling a steep incline.

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why did the money fall out of the tree... because he was dead

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for Christmas? a bike

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why was the fat man excercizing? because he was a fatass and no one liked him

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How do you stop a bus? throw a boy with an ice cream cone infront of the bus. but...come to think of it, that may not work. he might drop the ice cream on top of it >:l

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Jacob Edwards has friends.

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Sally has no arms. Knock knock. Who's there? Not Sally.

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Why did Sarah fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock Knock. Who's there? Not Sarah.

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Q:What did the wall say to the other wall? A: .

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What is more black than a Nigerian marathon runner? The night sky

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Mom: Ask me if you're adopted Boy: Am I adopted? Mom: yes

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So once upon a midnight dreery.... In a galaxy far far away that takes place in the past but resembles a technologically advanced future, an evil sith overlord took an innocent Jedi knight and turned him in a cybernetic killing machine. In the end, he dies

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who let the dogs out my mom because they're fat and need exercise

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What's sad about a mexican man dying in a car crash? He had a family that loved and cared for him.

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What is worse than finding an apple in you worm? Biting into an apple and finding 2 worms

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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