What do Abraham Lincoln and George Washington have in common? They both had beards, except for Washington.

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Q. How many Jews can you fit in a car? A. Four, I drive a Volkswagen Jetta

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get to the other side Why did the duck cross the road? I don't know. I only know why the chicken crossed the road.

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Spoiling your fun. Jesus said on the cross, I shall return. Then he returned three days later to say goodbye to his people. Moral: What the fuck are you Åsshats waiting for? The third coming?

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How long did the Hundred Years' War last? 116 years.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Knock knock Who's there Your Mother Come in

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This is a haiku Haikus are not really jokes Congratulations!

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Don't chop the dinosaur daddy! OK.

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If there are four gay men that come into a bar and need to sit down when all you have is one stool; what do you do? Get three more stools.

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Why was Little Bobby sad? He just superglued Uranus to his forehead.

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Whats Funnier than a clown? Woman's Basketball.

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i feel like when the radish was discovered someone was like "hey lets call it rad!" and another guy was like "lets dial it down a bit"

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Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? eating the worm causing it to breed inside of your body later causing them to eat you internally

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Do you know how to save a drowning laywer? Approach with caution as drowing victims can panic, thus pushing you under. If possible throw a floatation device rather than go in yourself, or hold out a stick and instruct them to grab one end while you pull them in with the other. If necessary perform CPR. Call an ambulance and monitor for hypothermia.

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Why doesn't my mom make dinner anymore? she died in a fire on my birthday.

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What happened to the boy who wnt through puberty? He bacame a man. There is nothing funny about a perfectly normal expirience that everyone goes through wether they like it or not.

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belly button

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What did the Dad say when his daughter murdered everyone Tea you're grounded

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't.

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Why was the dinosaur laughing so hard? He heard a very humorous joke

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Why weren't the two gays invited to the office party? Because there is no office party until december, therefor no one was invited.

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What happens when a black person brakes his neck? He gets a neck brace just like anyone else.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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