- Anti Joke

death drives to the bus stop where 3 pensioners are waiting for a bus to london, and says GET IN THE VAN!

how many dead babies can fit in a microwave? 3 1/2

DARK FACT: A ratchet black chick would say that was racist.

A bear and a rabbit both take a dump in the woods below an old oak tree. They look at each other, smile and nod their heads in acknowledgment of one another. The bear is first to let go of his rather large load and a loud THUMP is heard throughout the woods. Shortly after another and then another. The rabbit looks at the bear for a moment then turns closes his eyes and begins to strain. Finally the sound of what can only be described as a machine gun rattles through the wood. Looking impressed the bear looks over at the rabbit as it pops off its last few pellets. When the rabbit is finished the bear asks "Do you have a problem with the shit sticking to your fur?" The rabbit thinks for a moment then looks at the bear and says "Umm... No, not really." So the bear uses the rabbit to wipe his arse.

In the attic lights Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Lights, voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Leaving the things that are real behind Leaving the things that you love from mind All of the things that you learned from fears Nothin' is left for the years Voices scream Nothin' seen Real's the dream Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic Toys, toys, toys In the attic

What do you call the man with no arms and no legs? Jeff. Because that's his ****ing name.

A black man and a mexican are in a car. Whos driving? The cop. The two men were best friends who had taken off from their law firm. The mexican, Alex, had recently gone through a divorce and John decided to take him on a trip backpacking across Europe. Rain had suddenly come upon them and a passing off-duty police officer had picked them up and took them to a nearby hotel. The three men had drinks and the friends had a wonderful time. But Alex never got over Jenny leaving him. 3 months after their return John found him dead in his home by auto-erotic asphyxiation.

Why did the man break all his bones? Because his parachute failed to open

The Kidder vs Bratman, not featuring Robbing the gay wonder: "MUHAHAhAha Bratman if you get me ill kill myself!" HOHOHOHO. "Uh okay" "I totally will!" "Go ahead" "I promise!" Bratman kills the Kidder as a favor, and no crime runs around Goodham city ever the end. Moral: Totally original nothing stolen from Joker and the Batman.

What do you call a Fat man? You call him by His name because that's the polite thing to do.

Yo momma's so fat that when she died of congestive heart failure, your family had to pay extra for a larger coffin to bury her in.

Q. Whats red and smells like blue paint? A. Wheres my tractor?

J- Jiggly E- Enormous S- Sad S- Smelly E- Ethiopian

Roses are red violets are blue I'm not good at poems, nice titttttss.

Knock Knock. Who's there? Hook. Hook who? Who are you Hooking Your Horns to?

What's blue and smells? A dead girl guide.

What's white and looks like paper? Paper.

How are black people and apples the same They both hang from trees

How do you find out how many Mexicans are living in the United States? Take a Census.

What is big, eats cats, smells good, but looks like shit? A big, cat eating, good smelling piece of shit

What do you call a person trying to rob a store with no arms? Peter Pan

Your mother is so morbidly obese that if she sat on me, she would crush my skull and kill me.

Why did the chicken cross the road? It was making a suicide attempt.

i quit soccer because science happened and then i forgot how to screw in a lightbulb

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK! Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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