Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Why did the man have a bad day? Well first of all, his wife left him, then his two kids both committed suicide, then a large falcon pecked at his genital area. After that he proceeded to be hit by a car, and soon after he was hit by a bus. Following this, his corpse was raped by a transvestite pig, and then finally his spirit got hit by a plane on its way up to heaven, knocking it to Hell.

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what did the bot get for his birthday? .. men!

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Where do you study to get a good education? A library, at home, or at another quiet location where it is easy to concentrate.

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What do you call a blonde with a broken arm? A cripple.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I don't like rhymes Penis

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How do you stop a rhino from charging? An ak-47

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chickens are unintelligent creatures of instinct, and can tell no significant differences between the pavement and the road. It was unfortunate that a bus was speeding past at the moment this event happened.

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Whats small yellow and cant swim? A short bus full of autistic children.

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-What animal has the best vision? -I hate when you try to talk dirty during sex

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A black man and a white woman cross paths while walking on the sidewalk. After greeting each other, they continue on their way. Each goes on to enjoy their respective day free of racism and sexism.

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if you spell clever backwards you get a mixture of letters that don't make sense

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How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Blond answers: Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat............?

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Roses are red. Waffles are blue. Blue Waffle.

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Jerry: Why arent you talking to me Seth? Seth then explains using sign language that he was born mute and is offended that Jerry keeps forgetting. Then Jerry uses sign language to say" **** off i have alzheimers!"

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Recycling anti-jokes

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To run away from the axe murderer. Did it work? No.

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Hey, have you heard the one about the elf and the watermelon? Neither have I.

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how come bob felt 'under pressure'? because somebody dropped a dumpster on him

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What do you get when you cross a pig and a cactus? A godless abomination that violates every ethical standard known to man.

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How do you kill a blonde woman? Shoot her in the head

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What did the Atheist say to priest? Evolution

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What do you call a fridge? A Fridge

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Why did a mass amount of people move to Florida? They came to murder their children and get away with it.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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