how many pancakes does it take to get fat if u answered this question your already fat

Why did the little girl drop her teddy bear? Because she was being sexually molested. Why did the little Jewish girl drop her teddy bear? Because gas came out of the shower-head.

What do watermelons taste like? Sand.

Remember those days where we planned what to do with our lives instead of wondering what things lied ahead? Those where the days, it does not matter if we are relics, heroes, or villains today. Back then, we did not seek to discover our future, we sought to create it, back then our people did not pray for a better day, but worked for it. And love and kindness was not something only found in heaven, but what we shared in what was the closest thing, to heaven on earth. Tell me the truth, are there many like us left in this world?

What has 4 legs and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you a pool table

A guy watches a porno. When it is over, he said; "Wow, that was deep"

What does a lonely man do on opposite day? I don't know. Why should we know what he does, that is both weird and illegal. Stalking is a serious crime and should not be used. We do not know what he does on normal days, thus we cannot come to a conclusion to this question. However, I do hypothesize that he must be social on this day because this is the opposite of lonely.

A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse replies, "my wife has cancer."

Why was the anti joke funny? because it wasn't funny.

What's worse than the Holocaust? Voldemort

Take sebastian deep into the woods and put him down quickly

Why did the chicken cross the road? Chicken is a funny word, and the road is a plot device.

Why didn't the tv turn on? It wasn't plugged in

Roses are red, Violets are blue.

A depressed horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Why the long face?" The horse says, "Millions of years of natural selection." The horse then tries to drink away his sorrows, but the alcohol is only a temporary release from the pain he's feeling. He kills himself the next day.

Ily bae

The dewey decimal system

Life gives you lemons you make lemonade. What do you do when life gives you melons... youre skrewed.

Why did the man cross the road He didn't, he died after being hit by a car

An Asian with a big dick.

What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

Why do black people like fried chicken? -Because all races like fried chicken.

Where's Waldo? In rehab. Waldo is in rehab.

Knock Knock! Who's there? Oh, they were just nailing a notice of foreclosure to the door.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...