women sports....

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What is red and can fly? An elephant. I lied about being red. And I also lied about the flying part.

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6

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What did the smoker say when he coughed? Ohhh dam it's turned into a smokers cough

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how are a ferrari and a pile of dead babies similar? neither are good to have in your garage when the police come.

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How do you stop a drunk driver? With a minivan and family of four.

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Knock-Knock Who's there? We are, now open the door! Wait im masturbating!!

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Your momma's so fat that when she uses a hoolahoop, she cant use it, she is fat.

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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What do you get when do you put a baby in a blender? A life sentence.

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a horse walks into a bar the bartender says "why such the long face?" the horse is now crying in tears because the bartender made him. by Brennan pickrell

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What's worse than no christmas? Taking a chainsaw to the face.

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Where did Suzie go during the bombing? Everywhere. -Tag

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Wanna know what's funny? A joke.

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What do you call a leper in a spa bath? Say excuse me Sir (or Madam), I notice you have leprosy, did you know that it is treatable? MDT for multibacillary leprosy consists of rifampicin, dapsone, and clofazimine taken over 12 months. Dosages adjusted appropriately for children and adults are available in all primary health centres in the form of blister packages.[17] Single dose MDT for single lesion leprosy consists of rifampicin, ofloxacin, and minocycline. The move toward single-dose treatment strategies has reduced the prevalence of disease in some regions, since prevalence is dependent on duration of treatment. World Leprosy Day was created to draw awareness to leprosy and its sufferers

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Knock knock. Who's there? Silence. Silence who? No, I meant there was silence, I didn't really say anything. Oh, OK. But seriously, who's there?

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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What did the agnostic say when he turned blue? He said "wow why am I blue?"

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A Chinese man, an American man, and a Mexican man are sitting in an airplane. When the flight attendant comes by with food, the Chinese and American both opt for pretzels, while the Mexican prefers crackers and makes his selection accordingly. The three sit back and enjoy their snacks separately.

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Why did the man rape the woman? He had a lapse in judgement.

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A black guy, a white guy, and a mexican are on a boat, stranded in the middle of the ocean. Feeling a bit hot due to the above average temperature of an early april afternoon, the white guy and the mexican strip down to enjoy a refreshing dip in the water a few feet from the boat. The black guy, feeling a bit left-out and perhaps even envious at the apparent fun of the other two, speaks up "Hey fellas, do you think one of you could come sit in the boat so it doesn't float away so that maybe I can enjoy the water too?" Hearing this, the white guy and the mexican look at each other utterly astonished. Grasping for a rebuttal, the white guy gathers some courage and says "Do you really think that's a good idea?... You JUST finished your sandwich."

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What do Helen Keller and Stevie Wonder have in common? They're both well known figures who have inspired many.

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A white man and a black man were walking down the street. The black borrowed the white man's phone to make a quick call when an incoming call came in. The black man, while trying to hand the phone back, says, "Here, it's your Dad." The white man replies, "No, that's my phone." Amazed at how uneducated the black man was.

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What do you call a man covered in bees? Nothing, you'll startle the bees!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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